tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82001095599854050012024-03-08T11:43:08.357-08:00MARC of the HooligansAmerica's Most Socially Important Blog About TrainsEd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-51670131811308342122008-11-23T09:06:00.000-08:002008-11-23T09:17:01.616-08:00Friday on the RailsSo Friday, I got back on the rails again when I had to go to DC for a social function. The previous Friday, I had driven from NW Baltimore County to Greenbelt to catch the Metro into the city for the Capitals game, and the drive was a nightmare, so I when I realized that I had left early enough to catch the 5:03 train from BWI, I went ahead and did that.<br /><br />I got there with a few minutes to spare and looked at the board to find that the 5:03 MARC train was on time. Sweet. By the time I had purchased my ticket and gotten to the right side of the platform to catch the train (about 5:02), the boards said the train was 5 minutes late. At 5:07, the announcer said the train would arrive at about 5:12. Finally at about 5:20, the train departed. No reason was given. But the frustrating thing was the idiocy of some of the people on the platforms. Usually, people stand on the platform in a horizontal line, 1 deep throughout, finding their own personal space, etc.<br /><br />Well while I was waiting, a dude and his wife decided to stand literally right in front of them (I could have sneezed on them and they would have gotten a shower). When I tried to move and said "excuse me," I discovered that not only were they standing right in my path, but dude had put his big ass, oversized, there must be the body of a dead mafia guy in there bag down to my right. I took great pleasure in accidentally kicking it out of the way as I made my escape from their little trap. I think he said something about it, but I was too busy trying to find another place to stand.<br /><br />The train ride there was somewhat uneventful. But when we got to Union Station and I was walking toward the station, there was a crowd of people probably 400 strong waiting to board a train. By rule, these folks are supposed to wait in the station. But instead they had all herded out to the platform area like morons and had no plans to move, even though they were blocking all the doors. This is where elbows and forearms come in handy. I made my way through, acting as the lead fullback for this old lady that was behind me with rolling luggage and needed some space to get through. Then, once through the door, there were still more people charging through the herd who apparently don't understand that when trains come into Union Station, sometimes, people exit them. One person stopped right in the middle of everyone and sighed as if our desire to, you know, get through the station minding our own business, was some kind of an afront. I wasn't in the best of moods at that point so I spoke my mind to him as I walked past. I heard one person clapping.<br /><br />On the way home, I missed a train so I had to sit in the station for about an hour to get the 10:05 back north. While sitting in Sbarro eating some pizza, two dudes almost got into a fight because the one older gentlemen was paying for his food, and the other dude thought he cut in line in front of a woman who was still waiting for her food and hadn't even been ready to go to the register yet. While this dude felt like it was his business, I have no idea, but he was a real asshole about it. Maybe he was trying to hook up with the woman, who wasn't really wronged in the situation, but he felt he could play hero. The older gentlemen told him off in something that I think was Chinese and went about on his merry way. The woman ignored the dude, who was trying to be all impressive and talking to her, and then he went on about the rest of the station trying to cause trouble somewhere else.<br /><br />People are punks. Be careful out there.<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-63821495009754869912008-10-09T06:14:00.000-07:002008-10-09T06:18:43.572-07:00So, yeah. Hi.So, for the moment at least - it seems like MARC of the Hooligans is kinda dead - much like the trains on the MARC line themselves most of the time.<br /><br />I haven't been working in a good couple months now, and I would go into all of that, but I don't want to put all that out there on the Internet for public consumption - because I would get kind of nasty. Well, not kind of. It would be nasty. Like, Philadelphia Flyers winning the Stanley Cup kind of nasty and awful.<br /><br />I am, however, a Washington Capitals season ticket holder. And more than likely, I'm going to be using the MARC during the week to go to games, rather than drive all the way down to the Greenbelt Metro and then ride 10 stops into the arena. So, in the near future, I think all sorts of hilarity will ensue.<br /><br />Now, the people to watch will be fewer, because I'll be going oppo of the commuters, but when the trains go the other way, I can look in the windows and laugh at them, too.<br /><br />So, sit tight, we'll be back on Tuesday morning after Monday's Caps-Canucks game.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-11876357886097568132008-06-26T18:17:00.000-07:002008-06-26T18:32:16.694-07:00Land on Free Parking, You No Get the Pot in the MiddleOf course, you remember the old house rule in Monopoly, where there was a pot of money that grew through various means, and if you landed on Free Parking, you collected it all. For the normal folks, it was Monopoly money - for the gambling folks in college that I hung out with, it was real money. Whatever, find the parking spot, get the money.<br /><br />For MARC commuters, some would want you to believe it doesn't work that way. There was an article in the Martin O'Malley Daily Telegraph .... errr .... Baltimore Sun, with MARC riders complaining how there is no parking at MARC lots, and a bit of an implication that folks living in the neighborhoods around the lots getting pissed because people are parking on their streets to get to the train station on time.<br /><br />The story is here: <a href="http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/traffic/bal-te.md.parking26jun26,0,6903345.story">http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/traffic/bal-te.md.parking26jun26,0,6903345.story</a><br /><br />Now, there is a lot of fact-itude in that article. Parking is stretched at Halethorpe. But some of this problem is the fault of the very commuters who in the story are made out to be victims. Yes, by 7:20 this morning, when I got there, there weren't many spots open. But when I get there by 6:05, like usual, over half the lot is still empty (a lot that holds nearly 800 cars).<br /><br />But here's the thing ... even at 6 a.m., when there are literally hundreds of spots available, people are still parking in front of people's houses on Route 1, or in the neighborhoods right around the lot, rather than parking in the lot. Apparently, the only thing I can figure is that these folks think it's easier to get out in the afternoon if they aren't in the crowded lot. Nevermind that they are taking up residence in front of someone else's house, houses which in some cases don't have garages, so the spot in front of their house is their spot, in a sense.<br /><br />It's hard to blame the MARC folks if the lot is full - there aren't No Parking signs in the neighborhood, according to the Sun story. What there should be is a No Parking/Permit system, where the residents get permits to park where they want, and outsiders are kept out. This is how its done in the neighborhood around where I work, and it gets the job done.<br /><br />But the MARC commuters themselves need to stop playing the victim card here, too.<br /><br />First, if there's spots in the MARC lot, use them. If there's spots along US 1 on the opposite side of the houses, use them.<br /><br />Second, I see people on the train every day who have been riding the train together in groups of 6-10 folks for multiple years. Surely, these folks can't all live in 10 vastly incongruent neighborhoods geographically. If parking is that much of a chore, quit fucking with the neighbors and carpool to the train station. You'd save a load of gas, have your company that you already talk to everyday for longer, and there'd be more parking spaces.<br /><br />I don't condone the neighbors for going all vigilante and keying people's cars. But I also don't blame them if they called to have the invading cars towed. I don't know if it would work, since there are no signs, but it's worth a try. I see too many people using too many spots other than the ones designated (and open) to believe the woe-is-me crap presented in the article.<br /><br />--<br /><br />Meanwhile, <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/26/congress.energy.ap/index.html">according to CNN</a>, The House voted 322-98 to authorize $1.7 billion over the next two years to lower fares and expand operations as more riders flock to public transit. The transit measure, which must be considered by the Senate, marks the first time federal money would be used to support local mass transit operating costs. Now there was another part of it that didn't pass with regard to oil drilling, but let's deal with the transit funding deal first.<br /><br />When exactly would you expect any kind of lower fare to show up? You really think Metro is going to LOWER fares? Their employees are too busy <a href="http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=30&sid=1429174">running a brothel</a>. And too busy <a href="http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=30&sid=1427480">riding the rails for free</a> - so what do they care what we have to pay every day just to get to work! There's no chance of this happening here. Metro told us they needed additional funds with the last fare increase for maintenance purposes and to provide better service. Meanwhile, trains continue to be late, door problems continue to abound, smoke/fire continues to be reported on tracks, and there really doesn't seem to be anyone else who cares, because the system is having all-time high ridership days of late.<br /><br />Hell, they know we all have to get to work. And they know we don't want to fill up for $50 or more every week. So, what reason, exactly, do they have to lower fares?<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-1352055872551434132008-06-17T17:32:00.001-07:002008-06-17T17:36:31.128-07:00We're Back, and the Beatings will Continue Until You People Fall in Line.Yeah, yeah, we've been in the basement a while. Whatever.<br /><br />Dear Dude on the 5:20 Train on Monday afternoon:<br /><br />What, were manners not on sale when you were growing up? You're 50-something years old, with the look of someone who plunders around the country club golf course on Saturday mornings trying to swing your putter with the 16-year-old beverage cart girl and the wife who has surely hired a pool boy behind your back ... you never learned how to chew gum? You know, Bobby Knight once said about writers ... "Everybody learned to write in third grade, most people moved on to better things." Well by third grade, everyone should know how to chew gum properly, save for that one kid that was in the corner who no one talked to because if you did he'd snap and drop about 47 bitch-slaps at you in a 40-second span - then he'd get a sticker for being an example of the human spirit.<br /><br />But no, you had to sit there on the train Monday, across the aisle from me, chomping your gum away like you were some kind of rabbit downing a carrot. Heh ... downing a carrot. I wonder if that's what the kids call it these days.<br /><br />Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you annoyed me, and you have made the list. You've been given seat 3 in row 12 on the blog's special Train to Hell on Christmas Day - a non-stop cavalcade of everyone who has pissed me off in the last year.<br /><br />Bring your gum.<br /><br />Love,<br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-28735040055581452662008-04-09T04:31:00.000-07:002008-04-09T04:32:19.463-07:00Parking Woes, Part DeuxSpeaking of parking wars.<br /><br />So yesterday, I went to the dentist. No big deal. Had some work done, everything was fine. Now, where I work, parking isn’t exactly ideal, and it’s especially difficult to find a spot. Because I’m in the program that gets the metrochecks deal, I can’t get a spot anywhere actually within our little facility here, so street parking is necessary. And usually, if you aren’t here by 6:35 a.m., the street parking is gone. Yeah that’s right, I typed 6:35 a.m. It’s not so bad that people get here that early I guess – but then I see some of those same cars still sitting there at 5 p.m. Seriously, I know there’s important stuff done where I work, but go home! Walk your dog! Cook dinner! Argue with your family! Laugh at the neighbor!<br /><br />Anyway, I figured since there was no street parking available when I got there a little after noon (actually, there was one spot, but I wasn’t talented enough to squeeze my car into the small spot); I decided to head up the street to the Metro station, park there, and ride 1 stop into work. No big deal. Save for the fact that despite the sign not being on to indicate the lot was full – the lot was full. And because the parking garages are unstaffed at the wonderful, customer-friendly Metro facilities aren’t staffed, there was no way out of said garage without paying the $4.75 to exit, even though I didn’t actually park. That was wonderful.<br /><br />So now I get to fight with the Metro folks to get my $4.75 back. I don’t think the odds are very good that I’m going to win that one.<br /><br />Seriously, if this shit keeps up, I’m going to be like that dude in that one movie where he goes nuts at how the world is going crazy and he just starts going all sorts of apeshit on people.<br /><br />I’m not sure I’ve really ever seen someone actually go apeshit, but I bet it’s interesting.<br /><br />Not that I’d find a parking place close enough or cheap enough to actually see such a thing.<br /><br />Maybe I should run for President and fix all this stuff. Nah, that'll never work.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-90019611894799951562008-04-09T04:30:00.000-07:002008-04-09T04:31:36.508-07:00Parking Woes and Stupid Sunglasses GuySo after about a month’s hiatus, I ventured back on to the rails to commute to work on Tuesday. I had been sick for a good part of the last month, and still am, but since I hadn’t used the rails, I had built up quite an arsenal of the metrocheck things, to the point where I could get a monthly ticket for free. Free is good, so I thought, what the hell.<br /><br />What the fuck would have been more like it.<br /><br />The commute itself really wasn’t all that bad I don’t guess. Save for the dude on the MARC ride home who was the type we’ve discussed here before, wearing dark sunglasses on the train when we haven’t seen the sun here in several days. If it was anymore gray outside, it would have looked like, well, I don’t know, something that looks very gray.<br /><br />But anyway, he spent most of his time staring at the girl (she was maybe 23) in the seat across the aisle from us – who, while very pretty and not particularly overdressed, probably didn’t deserve to be mentally stripped by sunglasses boy. He was also one of these super annoying people who carry on way too much stuff for a commuter train. Part of his stuff went up into the little compartment above the seats, which is usually about big enough for a wallet and small raincoat. But he kept a notebook, a radio, a bottle of water, a cup of coffee, and his umbrella in his lap. Seriously, either dude had way too much lap or way too much stuff.<br /><br />When the train came to my stop, this also created a problem for sunglasses dude, because he then had to move all this stuff to try and get out of the way so that I could exit. And he didn’t even bother getting up out of his seat, which A) would have made it easier for me to get out, and B) got him closer to the girl of his dreams. He was just all around an inconsiderate little bastard. But that’s pretty much normal service when it comes to public transportation, I guess.<br /><br />More fun awaited when I left the BWI rail station. The trick at BWI is that they have two parking garages, and for common folk, it costs $9 a day to park. That’s kind of exorbitant but whatever. Supposedly, however, if you are a monthly ticket passenger on MARC, this fee doesn’t apply.<br /><br />Well, that’s true except for me, apparently.<br /><br />Because when I got to the gate and showed the dude my ticket, he said, “That won’t do you no good here.” Now, bless this guy’s heart … he’s probably never held another job in his life. He seriously looked like he’s been manning this parking lot booth for a long time. I mean, he probably watched his Colts beat the Giants in the ’58 Championship Game right from that very booth. But his rationale was that I didn’t have the special ticket that you have to get “mailed from Florida,” and that he could give me an application. Which, of course, does me no good unless I want to then turn around and spend all the money I saved by saving up the metrochecks to then send it to some clandestine place in Florida that apparently has the parking lot racket all squared away. Nevermind that I had a monthly ticket, too, I guess I didn’t have the “right kind” of monthly ticket. The dude’s last words (before I left, I didn’t kill him) were, “Yeah, there’s been a lot of misunderstanding about this whole deal.” I told him it was because the deal was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard, and I drove off.<br /><br />So, now I get to fight with the folks I bought my ticket from because as far as I’m concerned, that rail ticket is useless, since I have no intention of paying $9 to park every day when I can drive to work and fight the same level of crazy people for parking places for free.<br /><br />Maybe I need to start a Parking Wars blog.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-56655465571899414172008-02-13T19:59:00.000-08:002008-02-13T20:07:29.409-08:00Welcome to FebruaryWell, first of all, to put to rest one vicious rumor ... I'm not dead.<br /><br />I also was not on the MARC the morning of the Great Derailment at Union Station, was not pinned between train cars, did not fall beneath the tracks into the bottomless pit of derailed dreams, and I haven't broken my neck breakdancing (remember that rumor about Alfonso Ribiero from school?).<br /><br />I also have not been signed to a 6-year, max contract by the New York Knicks and I was not traded to Baltimore in the Erik Bedard trade.<br /><br />I also did not have to appear before Congress to explain my possible use of HGH and other performance-enhancing drugs. That's right, folks, I write all this shit on natural, God-given talent. Hell yeah!<br /><br />But I've spent most of the month in bed.<br /><br />Yeah!!!<br /><br />No, don't get excited.<br /><br />From the onset of Super Bowl weekend till about, I don't know, now ... I've been sick with pneumonia. Or at least that was the first guess by the doctor I saw. Another said I didn't have that, but didn't say what I have, who knows. I'm going with the pneumonia diagnosis for right now because I've never had it before, I've never been sicker, and I think the first two doctor knew a hell of a lot more about what she was talking about than the second one did.<br /><br />So the product of being sick is that for the month to this point, I have commuted by rail exactly twice, and one of those was only a half-day, so there wasn't much to tell there - other than having to go to something known as Track 28 at Union Station to get my train home. I think I actually walked to Ocean City before getting to the track where the train was. It was so far out that once I got there and got on board, I was quite sure I was on the wrong train and was going to end up in Red Deer, Alberta, four days later.<br /><br />There really wasn't much to tell from today's commute, either, other than to say that the 5:10 express train experiment may just be working for MARC, but it's hard to tell. The 5:20 train was still fairly crowded, and there were some people standing, but it wasn't as overpackafied as usual. It wasn't difficult to find a seat and there wasn't any one standing in the aisle today trying to sit on me or eat their dinner or whatever.<br /><br />It was a little annoying that apparently the person actually driving the train was the 87-year-old grandmother of 21 from those Life Alert commercials, as the train never got above about 41 mph and we were late getting in at Halethorpe.<br /><br />As a consequence, it's 6 minutes after 11 p.m., I feel like I just got home, and it's time to turn in already.<br /><br />Oh well.<br /><br />At least I'm not dead. Or traded.<br /><br />Yet.<br /><br />(Well, as far as I know. I guess I could have been dealt to Grand Forks for 20 hockey pucks and a blog about missile silos to be named later).<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-59342057665720091872008-01-30T12:32:00.002-08:002008-01-30T12:33:50.136-08:00Thank You Sir, You'll Have Another ...<p>That can be the only explanation to the news this week that Metro ridership is up 3% in the wake of their fare increases that went into effect on January 6. Whoever is responsible for Metro perhaps ought to think about running for President of the United States. Because somehow, this person has <a href="http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=25&sid=1334649">convinced the public</a> that it really is a great deal to pay more for fewer parking places, pay more for the same lousy customer service, pay more for the same unreliable trains, and in some cases, get <a href="http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=25&sid=1334308">roughed up</a> (allegedly) by Metro workers! This is the kind of marketing touch that you just can’t find anywhere on Madison Avenue.<br /><br />Metro officials say it could be that ridership is up because of gas prices. Nevermind the fact that the fare increase in many cases probably outweighs the gas increase from last year to now. But it’s not as if anything has changed. People are still unruly on the trains themselves, inconsiderate, and even abusive in some cases. Then there are deals like yesterday afternoon when I was riding home, and we sat at a station for 5 minutes while the doors to the car opened, closed, opened, closed, opened, closed, opened, closed, opened, closed. This in itself wouldn’t have been all that unnerving, had the automated voice not been going along with it, announcing that the doors were opening, stand back they’re closing, opening, stand back they’re closing, opening, stand back they’re closing, you get the picture. You are probably just as annoyed by simply reading that as I was having to watch it.<br /><br />And yet, we are paying more for it. And we are doing it happily.<br /><br />We are a beaten consumer with no heart.<br /><br />But … at least some of us know how to pay for Metro! (see next post for details)</p><p>MDR</p>Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-34312304885630542652008-01-30T12:32:00.001-08:002008-01-30T12:32:51.767-08:00Machines and LinesThe American public – you know, the one that is currently going through the state by state process of picking the nominees to be the next President (you know, because the Metro marketer guy probably won’t run) – has become so overwhelmed by the world in which they live that fare card machines have become a source of great befuddlement. Yesterday, I had to stop at one at Union Station to refill my SmartTrip card. I usually do this with Metrochecks (if I have one handy). There are two machines on the one side, and there was one person using each, with one person each behind them. Fine, it’s not like I’m in a hurry to get to work. At about the same time, both folks finish their transactions and move along. That leaves a person at the head of the line for each machine, with me waiting for the one on the left. The woman who was using the one on the right may very well still be there – I forgot to look this morning when I walked past them. She was trying to figure out how she could add change to her card. I think she was trying to add a quarter. Now, I’ve seen people do this before and hey, whatever, if you need a quarter to get to the next stop, you do what you gotta do. Yeah, no … this woman had $121.35 on her SmartTrip card.<br /><br />And she was trying to add a quarter.<br /><br />$121.35.<br /><br />Quarter.<br /><br />These are the people that the Metro workers should eject from the station. What could you possibly do on Metro that would cost that much, where $121.35 wouldn’t cover it, but $121.60 would? The average Metro fare is what, $3? What good will the extra quarter do? And why does this need to be done in the morning when about 31,000 other people are in the station trying to get on with their day?<br /><br />Then there was the woman at the machine in front of me. She seemed like she knew what was going on, and she was even pretty. Yeah – didn’t help. Upon putting her money in and doing everything it seemed she needed to do, there then started a long bout of staring at the machine. I thought maybe she was praying (because it doesn’t hurt to do that when you’re about to board public transportation these days). But no, she had either missed her train of thought or her motor stalled. I peaked somewhat over her shoulder and realized that she didn’t know how to get her card that she paid for. So I reached over and hit Button C, which is what you have to hit to get your card. Maybe I should have just said something, and maybe pushing the button for her was embarrassing, I don’t know, but I was kind of afraid she was going to be stuck there for hours and maybe she might die. So in a way, I saved a life. She laughed and was very appreciative. That’s nice. Good deed for the day.<br /><br />Because it’s more fun, I’m going to blame this whole incident on the fare card machine itself, in retrospect.<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-78880705570172956412008-01-30T12:31:00.001-08:002008-01-30T12:31:57.779-08:00I Think I Met a Terrorist Today ...I had to run to catch the MARC today, and if you know me and have ever seen me run, you know that wasn’t a pretty sight – but anyway, that meant that there wasn’t exactly the pick of the litter of seats left on the train. But I found a seat on the aisle open, and the dude on the inside seat was working on his laptop. Fine, he’s busy, all I want to do is sleep, it’s all good.<br /><br />Yeah, no.<br /><br />I think dude was a terrorist. Not in any way to be stereotypical, and I couldn’t even tell you if his descent anyway – but you know how when they show stories on the news about such and such being blowed up somewhere and then they say, “Government officials believe this man may have been responsible, or an operative,” and they show a guy’s picture from the neck up?<br /><br />It was this guy!!!<br /><br />He had a hat, dark glasses, and for all I know, he could have been using the computer to blow up an embassy in Karjackhistan. But that really wasn’t the unsettling part. Well, the sunglasses were. What need you have for sunglasses at 6:30 in the morning on the train when it’s still dark out – because, presumably, that means you had them on when you boarded the train somewhere north of Baltimore, at like 6 in the morning, when, yes, it still would have been dark out – is unknown. Maybe he was using his computer to try and score a night on the town later that will end with him carrying a 12-pack of wine coolers and talking to the guy from “Dateline” on NBC.<br /><br />No, what really was unnerving about this dude was his gum. Look, I ain’t the brightest person in the world, and I’m sure I have some bad habits. But chewing with my mouth open isn’t one of them. I learned at any early age how to chew gum, dammit. If you can work out the thought processes in your head that are going to signal your brain to say that it’s OK to wear sunglasses at 6 in the morning, then you should have some way of being aware how to chew gum with your mouth closed. Seriously, his chewing was so loud, it trumped the woman sitting behind me talking on her cell phone with a friend about who another friend of theirs slept with last night. Ain’t that some shit?<br /><br />I didn’t hear his gum chewing as much, though, when, possessing the outside seat, I waited for everyone else to leave the train at Union Station before I went to leave. I don’t think he liked that much.<br /><br />Course, if he took his computer back out (I wasn’t watching), he also might have blowed up my apartment.<br /><br />Shit.<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-21140296677363030852008-01-30T12:29:00.000-08:002008-01-30T12:31:16.624-08:00New MARC Schedule: Hit and Miss<p>As previously discussed here, MARC had announced plans to add new trains in February – including one in the afternoon rush from Washington to Baltimore, and one later train at night for folks who want to have a night on the town in DC and then get home while they are still all inebriated and what not.<br /><br />That schedule was released yesterday, and goes into effect on February 11. It is, in some ways, a bit of a disappointment. First – the rush hour train was set for 5:10 p.m. to depart Union Station, 10 minutes earlier than the current 5:20 p.m. express that makes no stops between Union Station and BWI, and is woefully overcrowded just about every night. What’s unfortunate, however, is that this new train will do very little, if anything, to relieve the overcrowding on the 5:20 train. The 5:10 will stop at New Carrollton and Seabrook (places the 5:20 doesn’t stop anyway), and then will terminate at Penn Station in Baltimore at 6:01. It won’t even stop at BWI. Nor will it stop at Halethorpe (making it useless to me). Not to mention, since it won’t go past Baltimore, it also doesn’t offer an alternative option for riders who go beyond Penn Station to Edgewood, Aberdeen, and Perryville.<br /><br />So, all those folks (which make up about 90% of the train most days) are still going to be on the 5:20 train. Hundreds of people exit the train at BWI and Halethorpe, and the train looks like the Ghost Express when it leaves Halethorpe, with many of the folks that are remaining on board headed to points beyond downtown Baltimore. What MARC has basically done is add a train that is useless to the majority of its riders, not to mention adding one more train that can now break down or suffer some other sort of failure right before the 5:20 departs, which will throw off its schedule, as well.<br /><br />The new late night train leaves Washington at 11:45 p.m. and makes all stops. On the surface, this isn’t bad. I don’t know how many people will use it, but it’s nice to have one additional late-night transit option for getting between DC and Baltimore. However, it still leaves the annoying gap between 8:40 p.m. and 10:45 p.m. during which there is no MARC service northbound. This is what really needs to be addressed. A 9:45 p.m. train would be perfect. There is an Amtrak 10 p.m. regional to BWI, but if you are using one of the smaller stops along the MARC line, this does you no good (and it costs $12 one way, last I checked).<br /><br />There was no announcement about weekend service, which is something I think that is sorely needed, even if it’s only a couple trains a day to start. But that also requires additional funding and such. We should see this in the near future since the Maryland General Assembly passed a bill yesterday that taxes breathing in the state.<br /><br />OK, that’s not true. But I wouldn’t be surprised.<br /><br /><strong>Quickies<br /></strong></p><p>* When walking to a set of the machines you show your pass/insert your card to in order to ride or exit Metro, and you are headed for one, don’t suddenly decide at the last minute you are going to use the one I’m going to instead, forcing me to stop and wait for your sorry ass. This has happened 3 times this week, and the next time it happens, I’monna trip ya.<br /></p><p>* Dude, when you are on the MARC, and your stop is up next, you don’t need to be right by the door of the train to get out. It will give you plenty of time to exit. But when you are a jackass that not only stands in the doorway, but has two bags with you and puts the bags down in front of you, thus taking up the entire aisle – don’t get bitchy when someone comes along and accidentally (perhaps) kicks one of your bags into the middle of next week because you didn’t give them any room to get by.<br /></p><p>* IPod chick on the Metro this morning – not only was your music on your headphones way too loud … it really, really sucked.<br /><br />MDR</p>Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-71140434643340673482008-01-21T05:47:00.000-08:002008-01-21T05:58:26.868-08:00Metro's New StuffSo the other day, Metro put a note on its web site talking about the next design of subway cars they are looking at having constructed. These would be the 7-series, or all cars numbers in the 7000s. The 1000s were the old original crappy ones that are still out there breaking down all over the place.<br /><br />You can see the article here ... <a href="http://www.wmata.com/about/met_news/story.cfm?ID=1655">http://www.wmata.com/about/met_news/story.cfm?ID=1655</a> ... They are supposed to be sleek and silver on the outside and feature ergonomic seats on the inside. Oh ... sleek and silver, catchy. The cars would only have 64 seats and there would be no more carpeting on the floor. The first thing that strikes me about this is it seems apparent that Metro doesn't actually want you to sit down. I'm not for certain, but I'm pretty sure 64 seats is less than what is currently offered, and as anyone who has ever ridden the crowded trains knows, it's when everyone is crushed in standing that people get hit with a severe case of the stupid. Or they crowd the doors, or they run over people, etc. It seems like the new cars give people more room to fight their battles by the doors. How nice.<br /><br />Some of the new cars are supposed to have bench seating, as well. I can't wait to see how that goes over. People battling over a bleacher seat by the door on a crowded rush hour commute is just going to be beautiful to watch. Or, people putting their fat butts in one part of the bench, their bag in another, their purse in another, etc., when other folks need to sit down (elderly, disabled, etc.). Or people on the bleacher seats being thrown forward or backward or sideways and into other people, starting a big old fight when the car comes to a sudden stop and/or lurches forward, since about half the drivers on these things appear unable to stop or start or train without it stuttering forward or backward several times at every station.<br /><br />In addition, Metro says: "There would be <span style="font-weight: bold;">interactive, linear maps automated announcements stating the station names the trains are servicing</span> and security cameras on all rail cars."<br /><br />Forget the grammar thing - but just think, this is what your fare increase is going to. New flashy maps and cars where no one can get a seat.<br /><br />But think of it another way ... what Metro hasn't told you is the following:<br /><br />1) How they are going to keep their trains from breaking down,<br />2) How they are going to address the "door" and "smoke" problems that they haven't fixed, and<br />3) How they are going to actually make it so their trains are on time.<br /><br />The fare increase to do all those things is probably coming later this year.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-47113265215666339402008-01-08T19:35:00.000-08:002008-01-08T20:01:23.325-08:00I mean, seriously, this is crazyAnyone who is signed up to the special service that previews what I'm going to write about late at night knows today's offerings don't feature much originality.<br /><br />Without further of the adieu, let's geaux.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Ignorant-ass mother fucking people</span><br />* Look, nevermind the people that get into one car on the MARC train via the stairs, then walk into the other, cutting off the people getting up those stairs. It's an asshole move, but everyone does it so whatever. ... But when you get into a train, and you see seats are open not near anyone else - take one, sit down, shut up. OK, that's a little cruel, but here's what you don't do, you don't crawl over 2 other people to get to a crowded seat, along the way getting close enough to one of those people that you might be legally married in Arkansas. I'm not interested in being that close to you, and the next time you do it, I'm gonna bust a knee cap in your jigglies. That'll cool your jets. Not to mention the fact that when you do sit down, the dude next to you has no room, because you insist on carrying your bag in your lap, which means your arms have to be at your sides, which means you elbows are going into the other dude's ribs while he's trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. There's nothing in your bag that important, save for maybe your Dungeons & Dragons charts and the lunch Mom packed. Your desire to be that close to people that early in the morning is annoying, and frankly, frightening.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Ignorant-ass mother fucking people</span><br />* But all that said, dude looked like a saint once we got to Odenton and a whole new crop of valedictorians got on the train. For this portion of the entry, I give you the long-awaited return of Army Woman! All dressed in the normal uniform, she was back in normal form today, her ankle looking none the worse for wear. She was off on another run, talking about her kids and God knows what else, and the person she was talking to wasn't even in her row! And of course, she was at the top of the stairs, so, in theory, the whole train could have heard her talking about her daughter getting new pants at TJ Maxx ... except:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Ignorant-ass mother fucking people</span><br />* She was completely muted just about by a trio of gossip machines that stood in the middle of the aisle next to where me, sleeping dude, unknown woman and space invader were sitting. These three were talking about everything and anything with little regard for humanity. The ring leader of the deal started by talking about some guy who wouldn't give her the time of day or something, wrapping it up with the rhyme, "I don't care if I don't catch his eye, I'm still pretty fly." Not to dispute the point too much, but let's put it this way ... if her backside was any wider, it would have been dark blue with COWBOYS written across it in silver and Terrell Owens would have been dancing into it. She was anything but fly. But she had more material on this day .... between Bowie State and New Carrollton, she informed us about this couple she saw at Wal-Mart - who she apparently didn't know from Adam, Eve, Tootie, Jo, or Natalie. Anyway, apparently the couple were having a discussion about one buying something for the other or what have you, really not something where outside opinions are necessary - so of course the crux of the story was about Fly Cowboys Butt Girl giving them her opinion and dressing down the guy for whatever reason. She then went on to share with all the train residents about how bad the guy's teeth were, like some of them were sideways and some of them were gone and they all kind of pointed the wrong direction.<br /><br />So yeah, this is what I want to hear at 7 in the morning.<br /><br />But it got better! Remember the point earlier about there being plenty of good seats available? Well, this was still the case at this point, and when Conductor Spivey (that's his name, that's not a joke) came along to collect/inspect tickets, he made mention to the Gossip Girls that they could go sit down - and they all said no! "We wanna stand here." ... "and annoy the shit out of all these other people, even space invader guy." OK, I added the last part, but you get my drift. Worse yet, they were right in front of the stairwell, and wouldn't move out of the way for Conductor Spivey to get through. He's trying to navigate the gossip gauntlet and I said, "These people don't make life easy for you, do they?" ... "No, they surely don't," he responded with a shake of the head.<br /><br />An individual person can be brilliant. smart, whatever. People are intellectually deficient morons. It's one thing if you want to annoy me while I'm trying to get to work in the morning - but when you are going out of your way to fuck with the people whose whole job is to walk through the train collecting tickets hour after hour, day after day, then you might as well turn in your humanity card to the front office in Accident, Maryland, and leave the Earth for good. It's just stupid. Why make that dude's life harder because your fly fat ass is too lazy to find a seat?<br /><br />Sorry.<br /><br />This post wasn't very funny.<br /><br />But people really showed in a lot of ways just how classless and stupid they can be today - and they deserve to be called out for it.<br /><br />I may not like a lot of my life, and I ain't perfect (far from it) ... but I'm glad I'm me and not them.<br /><br />Happy New Year!!!<br /><br />MDR<br /><br />PS: I hope you enjoy the last.fm widget that I've added. I'll be changing the key band from time to time (as it is, the first song will always be a Gin Blossoms song), but we'll keep it around if people dig it. I think it's a nice addition and it was easy, so that's key.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-53076560016446807602008-01-03T19:57:00.000-08:002008-01-03T20:23:06.155-08:00Happy Holidays, KnuckleheadsI haven't been on the trains much with the holidays and all going by and such, but the last couple days, as usual, brought no shortage of material. I seriously don't know what goes through these people's heads, but here we go.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Seriously, I was just trying to help</span><br /><br />* So I exit the train at Halethorpe Wednesday night like usual, and it's dark, and it's windy, and it's cold. If you are not familiar with this station on the MARC system, there are no platforms. When you exit a northbound train, you have to climb 48 stairs to an overhead road bridge, then go down 48 stairs on the other side to get to the parking lot. It's not at all handicap accessible, but that's a story for another day. Anyhow, I was walking down those stairs last night thinking to myself how I might want to get my next monthly pass for BWI rail station instead, so I wouldn't have to deal with these stupid stairs. They aren't really safe, especially this time of year when there can be ice involved and what not, not to mention Halethorpe is a busy stop, so you have 250-300 people on the staircases at any one time.<br /><br />Well, no sooner did all these thoughts go through my head than the young woman in front of me go ass over heels headed down the stairs. In grabbing the railing, she damn near threw herself over the side, dangerously close to power lines and a 20-foot drop. She collected herself enough to avoid that unhappy ending - but she crumpled to the cement in a ball of pain. I did what anyone would do, I hope, and stopped and asked if she was OK. She said yes, then said no (like one of my dates). Meanwhile, every other cocksucking prick in the crowd kept on walking. Oh, why stop and help, you know it's cold. Fucking losers.<br /><br />Anyway, she tried to stand up and I offered to wait to make sure she could clear the 24 remaining stairs. She got ready to walk, I figure everything's fine, story over. Till she can't walk. She busted up her knee pretty bad apparently. So, we've made the point clear now that she was in worse shape than she thought, right? Smart people, when that happens, ask for help. Instead, she refused. It was kind of against my nature to just leave her there by herself in that weather and such, but I did. I guess she got down eventually - she wasn't there this morning. But it just struck me as odd. And it kind of reaffirmed my own personal belief that I probably come across as creepy. If I came across as normal, she would have been more willing to get help. As it was, I was probably just some crudhead in a funny green jacket. Whatever.<br /><br />Oh well. I hope her knee wasn't hurt too bad. No one fell today. But someday, mix in a little ice and such, and them stairs are gonna kill somebody.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) Metro Metrics</span><br /><br />* OK, so if you're not kind of geeky like me, you might not enjoy this part of the entry very much. Hell, the Russian judge only gave it a four (it's a good thing I guess that he didn't try to poison me, but anyway). I have mentioned before about the "Service Disruptions" page on Metro's web site (<a href="http://www.wmata.com">http://www.wmata.com</a>). There, you can read about current issues on the system (if they bother to tell you about them, which they don't necessarily), or you can go back to prior dates and read a recap of all the things that got screwed up over the course of a particular day.<br /><br />Well, with the new year, I've decided that I'm going to track these. This is what my life has become ladies and gentlemen - spending free time tracking subway fuck ups. But, I think it's for a good cause. Metro trains are delayed or terminated for all sorts of reasons - door problems, smoke on the tracks, "equipment malfunctions" (they have pills for that, you know), brake problems, etc. That came to mind this morning at I think it was the Van Ness/UDC station, when we were ordered off our red line train just short of 8:00. This didn't come as a surprise, as for about 5 stops before that, there was a Metro employee going apeshit in various cars looking for something under the seats. Dude was actually pulling seats up out of the floor to look for something. Maybe it was a bomb, maybe it was a dog, maybe something else was up. I did overhear a radio transmission about the driver seeing a "flash," but that could be anything. I was actually kind of relieved that we were ejected from the train for a "mechanical problem." If that's their story, hey that's great.<br /><br />But we're gonna track it anyway. And we'll keep you updated here so you know that when you aren't reading stories any more about smoke problems on the track - yes it's still happening. We'll show you the results at the end of each month.<br /><br />I blog about trains, and dammit, I owe you my best.<br /><br />3) There is no 3. It was going to be the part about the "flash" on my train, but I covered that already.<br /><br />So, I'll just tell you that I expect this to be a great new year of train blogging. That's somewhat unfortunate in a way, given the crap I have to go through every day that ends up being the material for this blog - but I'm willing to go the extra mile for you, the reader.<br /><br />Signed,<br />MDR<br /><br />PS: I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't trip the young woman in order to make a blog post out of it.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-59596672470546672892007-12-23T07:30:00.000-08:002007-12-23T07:37:53.803-08:00Normally, I'd Pay a Dollar for ThatSo Thursday afternoon, the train was a bit crowded headed back north for home. I was late at work and the day was a bit crazy, so it wasn't until the 6:05 local route that I was able to get aboard and start the journey.<br /><br />With it being close to the holidays and all, I thought maybe this train wouldn't be as crowded as its 5:20 ad 5:34 counterparts.<br /><br />Not so fast, my friends.<br /><br />The train was in fact packed, which led to people standing in the aisles. And not for nothing, and this is happened on 3 consecutive occasions, but when the train is packed and there are no seats, and you people continue to wander through the car looking for seats that aren't there, why is it that when you have to stop and decide, "OK, I think I'll park my ass right here and stand," even when no one else in that part of the train is doing likewise yet, that you plant your ass right next to where I'm sitting? Your ass doesn't interest me!<br /><br />But this got taken to a whole new level on Thursday. The woman that was standing in the aisle next to my seat was also carrying on a conversation of sorts with a guy sitting in the same row but on the opposite side of the aisle from me. They were part talking and part signing, so it was kind of hard to tell what was going on (I saw three people carrying on a sign language conversation on the Metro the other day and wondered how you could tell who was interrupting). Anyway ... the woman who was parked in the aisle kept shuffling around, looking for a place to get comfortable. I thought about offering her my seat, but then that would have inconvenienced the poor chap who was already caught sitting between the two people in the conversation. (Ideally, that dude should have switched seats with me, and then I could have traded with the woman for a player to be named later).<br /><br />Anyhow, in her desire to get comfortable, the woman decided she was going to sit/squat in the aisle. Yeah, that didn't work. There's a reason why wide loads don't take one-lane roads. So, the story ends with the woman going to squat/sit/whatever she was doing, and sitting pretty much right in my lap. At first, I'm not even sure she realized what she had done. But you're in the aisle! If you sit down on something, you fucked up!<br /><br />She jumped up and immediately apologized and I'm like, "yeah, that's fine." I really wasn't in the mood to call any more attention to the incident than necessary. It was a hell of a way to wake up, however, from my half-hearted attempt at sleep on the ride home.<br /><br />Course, I guess this gives "ride home" a whole new meaning.<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-9048850321455730962007-12-18T20:15:00.000-08:002007-12-18T20:51:15.868-08:00Oh, Lordie Lordie, the People - They Crazy.A roundup of the last few days, where there's been no shortage of materials. I think people get even crazier now that it's the holiday season. And they were already off the ledge.<br /><br />Here we go:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Confessions of a Coroner</span><br />* It's not all that unusual when riding the MARC at 6:30 in the morning that you are going to hear some details about someone's job. A lot of the same people ride every day, or people ride with their friends, or what the hell ever, so you hear what some people do for a living from time to time. But on Monday, that went to a whole new level when I took a seat and across from me diagonally was a well-dressed gentleman, maybe in his 50s, and some other folks who it appeared he knew from at least riding the train every day. Anyway, this person was also the conductor of the conversation as it were, and he'd even brought like 8 copies of the paper with him, and offered me one. That's cool.<br /><br />It would turn out later that I would need it to try and feign a lack of attention for what he was talking about. Turns out, dude is like a coroner or an embalmer or some such thing. I really didn't know you had to be dressed so well for such work, but anyway. And he was tall, like 6-6. I ain't short, and I looked short next to this dude. Course, he works with dead people all day. If you're gonna be 6 feet in the hole, I guess Kerri Strug would look tall. But anyway, he went on about some of the people he'd seen (dead people mind you) in various states. All bloodied up, torn up, pulled apart, what have you. It was quite a rampage for 6:40 or so in the morning. Later, he was talking about all his various girlfriends. I'm thinking, wait, there are embalmer groupies? The whole conversation was kind of surreal. I happened to see the guy again in the Metro today, and he didn't recognize me. I guess that's a good thing - because if this guy sees you more than once, chances are you're probably dead.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. I Don't Care Nunna About Yo Baby-Daddy</span><br />* Look, I don't look like someone that should be on TV. I have bad hair, not a great face, a pot belly and the nicest thing I've been associated with regarding my looks was having a little kid in Springfield Mall once ask me for my autograph because he thought I was Curt Schilling - as if Curt Schilling would be walking around Springfield Mall during the season with a Cubs hat on - but anyway. But you know who I really don't look like? Maury, that's who. Maybe you've seen Maury a time or two in your life. Basically, he does the same show every day, which is to use some drive-through DNA/Bail Bonds joint to determine who the father of various kids are because the mothers are distraught at not knowing, or they slept with so many guys, they couldn't possibly know. And as an aside, there needs to be a "special" Maury, where one guy ends up being the father of all the kids of the 6 different women they bring out. That would be epic.<br /><br />Anyhow, I was resting comfortably in my seat this morning and that's when a woman and 2 others sat in the general area, with the woman next to me. Now, nevermind that they were separated, they were going to carry their conversation on anyway. She proceeded to talk about this and that regarding her, some dude, some kids who couldn't get into a house or something, and the guy wouldn't get off a couch to let them in some other house, and then there was some other person in the hospital, and he vomited a lot but was gaining weight (I'd advise folks to stay away from whatever hospital that was), and on and on and on.<br /><br />Again, in situations such as public transportation, especially overcrowded public transportation, you are sometimes going to get personal details. But even if you are riding the train with your friends, be a little more discreet 'bout your business. It's not that we want to listen, and it's not that we care - but you're not giving us much choice but to listen when you're the only one on the whole train we can hear!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Metro Needs a Helping Hand</span><br />* Well, the fare hikes are approved for Metro and go into affect on January 6. You can go to www.wmata.com and read all about them. I swear, if they were asking for any more money and such, Sally Struthers would be walking through the Gallery Place station with some little kid stealing hash browns from strangers (and yes, I saw someone eating hash browns on the Metro this morning, but anyway). Seriously, they are trying to protect against a shortfall and "maintain their level of service." Lemme axe ya this. What do you think their normal level of service is now? It's crap! It's not Scottish, it's Crap! Just today, one train was too overcrowded for anyone to board, the next one broke down, and the next one couldn't go more than 17 feet without stopping. I seriously was waiting for lava or some such thing to come shooting up into the train and kill us all. And everybody was in a bad mood this morning, too. I'm surprised there wasn't a full-out brawl. That's going to happen one of these days, just you watch.<br /><br />Because, you know, Metro is "maintaining their level of service." ... You know what, Metro should be run by the mafia. They wouldn't put up with this bullshit day after day. The minute after some made guy is stuck in a tunnel for 10 minutes while the tracks go up in smoke? Yeah, shit would change. But no, we're stuck with the 10 Ewoks and wookiee that run the damn show now, lining their pockets with more of your hard-earned money while they take more and more time getting you to and from the place where you earn that money. Fucking geniuses.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. Our American Youth are Hopeless, and the Country Will Fall into Karjackhistani Hands Within 20 Years</span><br />* Seriously folks, we're fucking doomed. Monday afternoon, I got on to the Metro at the usual spot to start the long journey home. It's a 12-stop ride for me to get to the next part of the deal, about 24 minutes on a day where Metro doesn't fuck it up, which we like to call, Sunday. Anyway, about 3 stops in, 3 girls get aboard. They are anywhere from 13 to 16 years old probably. Upon entering the car that I'm in (of course, right), one of them proclaims, "I'monna walk on here like I'm the shit and I'monna talk like I'm the shit because I am the shit and you better deal with it."<br /><br />Umm, OK. First of all, you had to wonder how that made her two little friends feel. I mean, if this self-professed attention whore was the "Shit," what were they, little farts? I mean, in the movies, it wasn't the One Great Musketeers plus 2 fuckers with little swords. The A-Team wasn't one dude that did all the work and 3 other fuckers eating bon-bons. So where did this girl get off proclaiming that she was the "Shit," at the expense of the other two? The other two didn't argue the point, though, I think they have self-esteem issues, or maybe they were paid off. Meanwhile, the three then proceeded to yell and scream about Cam Neely knows what for the rest of the trip. When they left the train at Metro Center, everybody clapped.<br /><br />And this, THIS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ... is the future of our country. These are people that in a few years will be voting, driving, the works. You think this country is fucked up now? Wait 10 years. Some country that hasn't even been invented yet, like Karjackhistan, will rise up and invade and there won't be a Cam Neely thing we can do about it, because all the smart people will be too old and brittle to care and the young people will be running around proclaiming themselves to be the "Shit," while Damascus burns.<br /><br />I hope I'm around to see that actually.<br /><br />And now a bonus entry! Because we love our reader(s):<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. Old Woman Better Step Off</span><br />* You know, look. I'm sure there is a reason why Federal workers have a reputation for being lazy. And just like any other profession, I'm sure there are Federal workers who are lazy. But as I was walking to my afternoon MARC train yesterday at Union Station, I passed by two older women who were trudging along, obviously pissed off at the world and what it had done to them. I mean, not to be brutal, but the ugly stick carried a multi-season winning streak over these two. ... Anyway, one was going on and on about something and as I passed them (which wasn't hard as they were moving slower than me toward a dance floor), I caught wind of what the one was on about.<br /><br />"All these stupid-ass Federal workers. It doesn't matter what time they come in, they all leave at 4:30. Then they crowd the 5:20 train and make it so some of us can't get home. Bunch of lazy-ass bastards. Then MARC panders to them by adding a new Express training, so we can get all of these little Federal darlings home while the rest of us who actually work are screwed."<br /><br />I don't think I heard what she said next, as I was somewhat under my breath perhaps maybe somewhat possibly muttering OK I said Fuck you as I walked by. First of all, the number of people that actually get turned away from boarding a train when they are on time to meet it before it leaves is remarkably small. So no one is keeping Ms. Precious from getting on the train. Do you have to stand on occasion? Sure, we all do. Bite the bullet, Francis. But to go on and on and classify an entire group of people as you did, when some of those folks are involved in jobs doing tasks that you wouldn't be caught dead doing ... well, hell, you can fuck off in my book. I do a lot of work every day, and I'm proud of it. Do I put my nose to the grindstone for all 8.5 hours? Hell no. And no one else does, either. Not Feds, not contractors, not anyone. Certainly not Ms. Precious. She probably has a well-paying job sitting in the third floor of some swank office building watching the cars rust. But hey, someone's gotta do that, I guess.<br /><br />I think it was the whole "Federal Darlings" part of the comment that really pissed me off. Though I am going to add it to my list of fake band names ... right up there with Rolling Midget Army of Nepal.<br /><br />I don't think Federal Darlings will sell a lot of records, though. After all, we'd all be too lazy to write any songs, wouldn't we? Fucking genius.<br /><br />Stay safe on the rails, and if you hear or see something stupid - laugh.<br /><br />Signed,<br />MDR<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-29649417739896254912007-12-12T20:49:00.000-08:002007-12-12T21:11:56.993-08:00Various IssuesThings have actually been pretty tame on the rails for the last few days. Most of what has gotten on my nerves, I've written about before, but here were a few things that popped into my head tonight that I want to address really quick before I go to sleep (hell, I have to be at the train station in less than 7 hours).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">1. I'monna Start a Brawl</span><br />* Seriously, like hel-lo. What the hell is up with some of you people? The new thing that's all the rage at both MARC and Metro stations is, if there's a big line of people waiting to get on a train - everyone trying to get on the same train, mind you, the dude at the back starts just pushing his way into everyone else. Not like an arms out, Randy Moss push, mind you, but more like a body lean that ends up right against you and while it doesn't hurt, it's annoying as shit. You would think people would have evolved enough to this point that they would realize that trying to board the train stampede style wouldn't work. But no, most people haven't evolved that much. So, now when people do that to me, they are going to find themselves going the other way, because I'm going to push in the opposite direction until you either do something about it, or you fall off the platform to your death or a serious maiming.<br /><br />Pick one.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">2. MARC Gets it Right</span><br />* Big news today out of the MARC home offices in Governor O'Malley's house, as the transportation line announced the addition of three new evening routes in February. One will be a 5:14 p.m. express from Washington north, which is money, as the current 5:20 express often is way, way overcrowded (as it was today, with people, including your hero, standing in the middle of the aisle on the upper level - and lemme just tell ya, when you get to be my size, and the car is going back and forth, to and fro, and the belly gets a little momentum going to one side or the other - yeah, folks are lucky there wasn't a catastrophe today). Anyway, they are also adding an additional line from Baltimore to the South (this is all on the Penn Line by the way), and the Drinking Man's Special - an 11:45 p.m. route leaving Union Station heading north. Can you say 6-hour Happy Hour? No more leaving the bar early just when it's getting good to make sure there is a train home. Come February, it's party time!<br /><br />You may wonder why I wrote that the MARC home office is in Governor O'Malley's house. I guess, in a sense, MARC is the Governor's own private train set, sans the little ice skating display in the middle and that old Lionel look-out house with the little plastic guy that came out of the door with the lantern every time the Santa Fe engine goes by (digressing? Possibly) ... but anyway, the messages from MARC today read like this ...<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 153, 102);font-size:100%;" > Governor Martin O 19Malley today announced he is adding service to the Penn Line. Three new trains will be added to boost capacity during the afternoon rush hour and provide late evening service for the first time. The new service is the first step toward implementing the Governor 19s comprehensive MARC Growth and Investment Plan released earlier this fall.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">I don't know the significance of the 19 in the lad's name, and I'll go on record as saying I can't stand the dude. But I guess it's nice that he taxed everyone in the State to oblivion, because now I'll have an easier ride home. I hear this is how government is supposed to work. I wish there were other things he could decree from his house .... like all Metro trains have 16 cars and no one else on them but people I like .... like only meat loaf shall be served at official State functions ... and not only will slot machines be in the state, but I get to have one in my apartment.<br /><br />None of that other stuff is probably going to happen, and I won't have any money left thanks to the Breathing Tax bill that he signed today - but hey, at least I have more options to get home, and I can even do it drunk if I want.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And just to toot our own train whistle here - did I not tell you that MARC had a plan and were likely to accomplish it? They are getting it done. Meanwhile, Metro trains continue to fall apart like a Rich Kotite-coached football team, with them begging for fare increases to "maintain the current level of service." Which means that you'll pay more to be stuck inside tunnels while the train in front of you can't move because it blowed up. Or there's smoke on the tracks. Or there's a door problem. Or there was a mechanical problem. Or, as it was on Tuesday, someone "made contact" with the train. Hell, did the person at least have good defensive position? Did he draw the charge? Was he wearing a Duke jersey such that he automatically gets the call in that situation? These are the things I wonder about at 12:07 a.m.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">3. A MARC Rider Confused Me</span><br />* This happened on Monday, and I think it was in the morning, though I'm still trying to get over the idea that we all ride Governor O'Malley's Lionel train set, so maybe my head is foggy. Anywho, I was sitting in an aisle seat trying to find room with a right tackle and left guard sitting in the two seats to the right of me. A dude walked up the aisle toward the exit (I guess it was his stop, but who gets off at Seabrook?), and he was carrying one of those big-ass bags that we have discussed here before. Now - first of all, men should be carrying big-ass bags. We don't need to carry all that much shit to work. But anyway, the moral of the story is, big-ass bag clocked me in the leg as he walked by. Before I could even think to myself, BLOG TARGET!, he topped that off with something very unusual.<br /><br />He turned around and apologized.<br /><br />I waved it off as no big deal and all was good. But I don't know where they got the idea to let these reasonable people on the trains now. If this continues, I'm going to have to start blogging about soccer trades or something.<br /><br />Stay safe, rail warriors.<br /><br />Signed,<br />MDR<br /></span></span>Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-63467750471481050502007-12-04T20:21:00.000-08:002007-12-04T20:45:32.129-08:00On Tuesday, Voices CarryA few things to get to so let's go, because it's late and I want to go to sleep ...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">1. Kids - They're Stupid</span><br />OK ... maybe not all kids. But all the kids on the Metro train I was on this afternoon were stupid, so that's a case study of 6 kids, and 6 out of 6 were stupid. That's even a better percentage than the 4 out of 5 dentists that prefer Trident to your leading gum. I was on the Metro a bit earlier today than usual, and had the good fortune of running into a friend of mine I hadn't seen in several months, so we were trying to talk on the Metro when 6 kids, ages 10-15 boarded. Apparently they were either stupid, poorly educated, or straight up deaf. They proceeded to yell at each other at the back of the train, and every 4th word was a cuss word. Although, as my friend and I figured, that was probably because the cuss words were easier to pronounce. Hell, most of them are four letters, even a bit of education can teach you how to knock those out. About 7 stops later, they left the train, and all was quiet again. Until the next stop, when the loud-mouthed little runts got back on. Well, 5 of them did. I guess they had just hopped cars. But this was enough to thoroughly confuse one of the 6, who proceeded to get on the train as the other 5 had decided they were going to exit again, and we took off with him on it and the other 5 screaming on the platform like they had just seen a zombie carrying tonight's homework assignment.<br /><br />I'm so never having kids.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">2. Faces of Death - MetroBus Driver Style</span><br />Do the people who drive Metro buses know how to drive at all? The more I hear about the incidents they are involved in, the more I wonder if they are like that guy that used to be on the opening montage of ABC's Wide World of Sports, who careens down the ski jump and falls ass over tea kettle for several hundred feet. I remember a comic once doing a bit basically asking if that guy could ski at all. I wonder the same about Metrobus drivers. Once a month, we are hearing about accidents they are involved in, and the latest one killed a pedestrian, which sadly isn't a first, either, or a second, or a third, unfortunately. Now, there may be reasons why the driver may not be at fault. I understand that. But on the days when I drive in and I see these Metro buses rolling through red lights, cutting in front of compact cars, and changing lanes for no apparent reason, it's hard to believe the drivers aren't a little bit off their rocker. I once saw a writer try and convince commuting readers that "getting to work and home again is traveling, not Bloodsport." ... Where Metro is involved, I'm no longer so sure that this axiom is true.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">3. Metro's New Rail Cars</span><br />Hopefully, the same people don't drive the Metro trains, but I think they drive themselves to some extent, so maybe we're all at least a little safer in that mode of public transportation. But anyway, Metro announced today that they have rolled out two new styles of rail cars that will enter a 6-month customer testing period, first on the Green Line, but eventually throughout the system. The cars don't have carpet (vinyl flooring instead), some have bench seating and they have retractable hand rail pull things in the ceiling that you can pull down to your height, and then they go back in place when the person is done. Of course, if the person is really short and needs to pull the thing that far down in the first place, I do wonder how they are actually going to reach it to do that, but anyhow. Of note, in the story I read on this, it said that Metro expects these cars to hold 20 additional passengers than the current setup, lifting the capacity of a car to 200 people. That means that the current cars are supposed to have a capacity of 180. Have you ever been on a Metro train? Look around you next time and figure out exactly how 180 people are going to fit on each car. These new cars better have seats in the ceiling if they are going to hold 200 people.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">4. Big Ass Bags from Hell</span><br />Look people. I really don't know what you people are bringing back and forth to work every day. And I'm not sure I want to know. But whatever could you possibly need during the day that requires it to be carried on the MARC train in a bag big enough to fit Fat Albert? More and more, I am seeing people trying to walk down the aisles in the train with these big ass bags in toe, bashing them off people who are minding their own business sitting in their seats. I saw one woman get straight up clocked in the face by one of these big ass bags today and the woman carrying the bag just walked on like nothing happened. The bags ought to have to pay for a ticket! Then these same people try and take the bag and stuff it in the little overhead storage compartment and get puzzled looks on their faces when they don't fit, and even if they do, that means that no one else in that row can put anything in that spot (which is half theirs) because the big ass bag woman has to carry her entire life's possessions for a normal workday. I think some of these people are carrying their fucking cars to work. You could fit a small Kia in some of these bags that I've seen. Seriously - bring your lunch, your makeup, maybe an umbrella, and a bottle of water. At most, maybe you have a couple documents from work that you had to review the night before because you are a workaholic with nothing else to do. But you don't need to bring your whole life with you on the train! Because next time you come strolling up the aisle with your big ass bag rolling behind you and I'm sitting in my seat, minding me business, and big ass bag clocks me in the foot like I'm a speed bump or something, big ass bag is getting chucked out the side of the car and if you are still attached ... oops.<br /><br />But hey - at least when you land and finish your barrel roll from 100 mph down to 0, you'll have all your stuff.<br /><br />Be careful out there rail warriors.<br /><br />Signed,<br />MDR<br /><br />PS: These freecreditreport.com commercials with the guy singing needs to die a quick death.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-83110336351473992562007-11-28T18:29:00.000-08:002007-11-28T19:16:03.721-08:00A Bunch of Stuff ...A lot of things to hit tonight, so let's roll ...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. America is Deaf!!!</span><br /><br />I have seen, or rather should I say heard, the proof of this. Look, I understand the desire to have music with you when riding public transportation. It's pretty likely that you don't want to listen to the asshole stranger next to you fart or blow his nose or talk about taxes in Quebec, whatever.<br /><br />However, the effect of this is pretty much canceled out when you, Ms. MARC person or Mr. Metro rider, play your music on your iPod or whatever you have so loud that the rest of the train can hear it. And what the fuck, most of the time, y'all are playing some shit music! The woman next to me on Tuesday morning on the MARC seemed nice enough, but when she played some artist who may as well have gone by the stage name "Whiny ass white dude," well you don't really have to wonder why the rest of us thought you were crazy. I'm sure you are nice. But I worry about your mental state listening to the weird stuff you had playing.<br /><br />America must be deaf. That must be the only reason why y'all play your music that damn loud.<br /><br />So, I'monna get you back. I'monna download a bunch of Conway Twitty, then play it at full volume at about 6:40 a.m. on the MARC. It will be enough to drown out your crappy tunes and pretty much annoy everyone.<br /><br />Revenge is sweet.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. MARC ... the Yugo of Trains</span><br /><br />I really wonder sometimes if the trains used by MARC are really any different than that beat up old Lionel train set your grandpop had when you were a kid that was all set up under the Christmas tree and then is ruined when Uncle Bobby has too much egg nog and does a face plant right in the middle of the display just before dinner.<br /><br />This week, it seems like every train they have is breaking down. There were 2 or 3 today and thankfully I drove. But the e-mail alerts that the Maryland Transit Administration sends out are comical. They aren't even in English - it's a combo of drunkenese and textese, and they show up in your e-mail account about an hour after what ever incident has occurred and already screwed everything up.<br /><br />Some day, one of the MARC locomotives is just going to fall apart in 1,074 pieces as it leaves Union Station. ... Just like Grandpop's model display after Hurricane Bobby.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Metro Driver from the Good Side of Hell</span><br /><br />I have found my favorite Metro driver. On a crowded red line train Tuesday, the dude driving was sick and tired of people's analytical shit apparently. At the various stops, as people tried to crowd into the train, our hero would take the mic and yell: "STAND BACK!!! THIS TRAIN IS FULL! WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!"<br /><br />And he was right, the next train was only 2 minutes behind. But 2 minutes is too much for most fucking people - God help them if they are delayed two more minutes in getting home to what remains of their crappy lives. No, they'd rather push through a door and then bitch and moan when their bag gets stuck in the door, or they get the train and their bag doesn't, which is awesome. It's no wonder Metro reports so many door problems. The doors are fine (except Jim Morrison, he's dead), it's the people that should be taken out of service. I was glad to see a driver not take any crap from them.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. We've Outgrown Public Transportation</span><br /><br />I'll start this off with a disclaimer. Look, I'm a little bigger than I need to be. I'm not an offensive lineman or nothing, but I look about 4 months along if you catch my drift. And hey, like Peyton Manning says, if you are over the age of 23 and not a football player, you may as well just buy bigger shirts.<br /><br />But look here - I don't write this to mock our portly mass transit friends. As a country, we have an obesity problem, and it's gonna kill more of us quicker than terrorists or Mist or zombies or the lack of promotion/relegation in MLS.<br /><br />However, I bring this up because there is a serious problem with public transportation. IT WASN'T MADE FOR BIG PEOPLE! Those that are big and big in the saddle were left out of consideration 30-40 years ago when most of the modes of public transportation were constructed. And hey, I get it. We weren't as fat back then. But now? We loves our McDonald's and our steaks and all that. And hey, I do too. I'm not innocent in this, and I'm not poking fun at anyone. But it's a sad fact of life that we have outgrown our means of public transportation when you have, for example, the single-decker cars on the MARC with the 2-aisle-3 setup of seats. Invariably, when the train is packed, you are going to have a 3-seat set where some unfortunate person (like me on Monday), gets crushed by someone in the middle who, if you put them in a football jersey, would be the whole 3-4 defense. It's not their fault - they gotta sit somewhere. But you are pretty much playing Buffet Roulette when you get on a train now as to whether you will be able to breathe for the next 35 minutes or not. And hey, other people have probably thought that when I sit next to them, so again, I ain't picking on no one. But it's true, and we as a nation ain't gonna get no thinner, so I don't know how you solve the problem.<br /><br />Be careful, rail warriors.<br /><br />MDR<br /><br />PS: OK, actually, now that I think about it ... I'm not fat, I'm festively plump.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-13362167538563097802007-11-20T19:53:00.000-08:002007-11-20T20:15:44.623-08:00Time Flies, But People are Still StupidOK, so it's been a couple weeks. I was off for a couple days, drove another couple, so I haven't been on the trains and subways of Washington, D.C., and suburban Maryland much lately. But fear not, I got stuff to talk about.<br /><br />There's lots to get to and lots of people to call out, so instead of letters, we're gonna hit him up with a cascade of bullets ...<br /><br /><ul><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Old People are Stupid:</span> Last Thursday, me and some friends (blog readers, as well!) attended the Georgetown-Michigan basketball game at Verizon Center. After the game, I had to catch the Red Line back to work where my car was parked. This meant leaving from the Gallery Place Metro that is underneath the arena. Now, hundreds of other people were trying to do the same thing, so the platform was crowded - mostly with Georgetown students. Now, these are Georgetown students, mind you, so they should be pretty smart. And to their credit, they all handled the situation very well, even if not all of them were sober. However, there were two older gentlemen in different parts of the crowd that must have been late for a big Matlock date. When the train showed up and the doors opened, they began trying to shove their way through the mass of people to get to the train. This left the college kids legitimately wondering, "What the Fuck," and led me to blurt out ... "the more you push me, the slower I'll go. And I'm fat, so I know how to go slow." Perhaps I should work as a comedian on college campuses, because I hit the jackpot with the Georgetown kids with that line. It also didn't hurt I guess that I was wearing a Georgetown hat. The old folks really didn't say anything, but the pushing and shoving stopped. Fucking asshats. People don't get smarter with age, folks, they just find more creative ways to piss the rest of us off.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Reading is Fundamental: </span>To the book reader on the MARC this morning that decided she had to sit next to me. Look, if you really need the middle seat in those 3-2 seating arrangements MARC has on their single-decker cars - hey, that's fine. I would never take that seat, trying to plunk my fat ass down between two asshole strangers who don't want me there, but hey you want to sit, I get the point. What I didn't need was the point of your elbow in my side for the last 20 miles of my trip to Union Station this morning - being drilled deeper into my side every time you turned the page of your fake little romance novel. Here, let me sum it up for you. The woman doesn't get the guy. The guy goes to jail for banging a Thai prostitute, little Jimmy doesn't really like girls, the puppy runs away, and the pet chimp dies when he gets his hand caught in the coffee maker. There. There's your fucking book. Just as much of a clusterfuck as a Columbus Crew playoff game. So see? You didn't even need to be reading it. I just saved you the time. So tomorrow, you can pick another seat and just sit there, and not try and remove my spleen by turning pages. I really don't think you are licensed for such medical work.<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, 2 Diet Pepsis ... :</span> So I missed my 6:43 train this morning, which meant I had to wait until 7:13. I was thirsty and there is a vending machine at the stop I go to in the mornings. For $1, you can get one of those 20-ounce Diet Pepsi bottles. Apparently it's Christmas or whatever holiday bottles of Pepsi celebrate, because when I put in my dollar and hit the button, it gave me two bottles. There's really no joke here, I just thought it was cool. And what the fuck exactly is a French hen?<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Real Drew Carey Would've Scored: </span>A while back on the way home, it was one of those crowded days on the 5:20 train and with 25 minutes before the first stop, conversations are sure to spark up in some parts of the train. On this day, one of the standing-in-the-aisle people was a dead ringer for Drew Carey. He had the funny head, the glasses, the voice, the works. Oh yeah, he didn't have the sense of humor. See, if you look like Drew Carey, but you are funny like Drew Carey, you are gonna score. Some women will sleep with guys if the guy makes them laugh - even if they aren't great looking. Hell, I know, how else could I possibly get laid? That said, if you look like Drew Carey (or me), and you have no sense of humor at all? Yeah, no soup (so to speak) for you. It was almost painful to watch really, as the Bizarro Carey worked his magic in the aisle on a woman that I guess he knew who was sitting in one of the seats. She tried to exit the conversation more times than me on the Jersey Turnpike looking for a pizza place (few of you are gonna get that joke, but that's OK). Bizarro Carey was the only one on the train who didn't realize that his grand plan wasn't working. The woman got off (exited, not what you are thinking) at BWI, and Bizarro Carey stood there with a weird smile on his face as if to say, "Yeah, I got somewhere. Next week I'll get her number." Sorry, bud, I've been there before. No. No you won't. This isn't the script where the sexy brunette has to talk to you because it's in her contract. This was you striking out more than Mo Vaughn.<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">And Another Thing: </span>There was a dude today who I don't think was a MARC regular who was standing in the aisle next to my seat on the 5:20 coming home. He had some big-ass man purse (that's not a euphemism for the size of his ass or anything, I mean he had a big-ass man purse) that was swinging at his side. And it kept flying into my seat's air space. I don't like that shit. But I didn't want to say anything - because let's be honest here people, if I handled every situation with politeness and tact, then there'd be nothing to write about here and I couldn't try and entertain y'all. So what good that do? Anyway, I decided that I would use my arm as sort of a fence to my seat's air space. And every time the dude's man purse started flying toward my space, it would hit my hand and I would push it back, which would cause him to lose his balance while the train was moving 100 mph, and he would have to struggle to keep his feet. The funny part was, I don't think he ever realized what was causing it. A couple minutes later, the man purse would come flying back again, I would push it the other way, dude would go flying. In retrospect, I should have tripped him, too.<br /></li></ul>Meanwhile, Metro still has door problems, and MARC is still overcrowded. Given that Thursday is Thanksgiving, I am thankful for these things - because it allows me to see people at their worst, and it gives me something to write about when I get home.<br /><br />Stay safe, rail warriors.<br /><br />Signed,<br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-76119287979223727002007-11-06T16:25:00.000-08:002007-11-06T16:28:25.224-08:00Oh, and by the way ...... See now, you heard this shit here first.<br /><br />Did I not tell you last week that Metro was still having problems with "smoke?" And no one was paying attention. But if you are reading here, you are smart, so you knew.<br /><br />The 10 Ewoks and the Wookiee at Metro Headquarters will forgive me for not being surprised at all to hear that the Pentagon station was closed today due to a track fire.<br /><br />Shocking. I know.<br /><br />I'm telling you - and I don't even post this to be a scare-mongerererererererer, but ... something really bad is on the way for Metro in the near future. There's just too much weird shit going on with door problems and smoke and fire and trains breaking down and whatever else to read the fare cards any other way.<br /><br />I'm just praying I'm not in the area when it happens.<br /><br />Course, if I had that kind of luck - this blog wouldn't exist.<br /><br />Stay safe, rail warriors.<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-60806236584269331702007-11-06T16:17:00.001-08:002007-11-06T16:24:45.888-08:00Et tu, Brutus?So apparently, driving to work isn't any picnic, either.<br /><br />Yesterday, I had to drive to work (45 miles each way yo) because the monthly MARC/Metro ticket I had ordered hadn't arrived yet. Fine, whatever. I was going out after work anyway, so it was better to have my own transportation.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the aforementioned ticket didn't show up one more again, so I had to drive to work again today. And it was raining, which means in this area that everyone slows down and goes 12 mph because rain, you see, is radioactive and causes cars going above 12 mph to melt in place, sending their drivers and back-seat passengers to a special 8th circle of Hell that contains nothing but SUVs and burning cups of Starbucks. You may ask what happens to the passengers ... they go to Heaven. No one knows why.<br /><br />Anyway, I get to work today a bit later than usual, lock my car and notice my right front tire looks odd. Almost as if it had blown a bubble or something. So I took it to the nearby Merchants Tire after work, and was informed that my tire had an impact bubble (kinky). And of course, it needs to be replaced. The reason? Said impact bubble comes about from hitting a pothole. So yes folks, the MARC is overcrowded, the Metro is filled with crazy people on trains that don't go nowhere, and the roads are deadly, if not to the people, than to the tires carrying the people. Seriously, this is insane.<br /><br />The dude at Merchants said the bubble was a little one (they have pills for that), and that I should be able to get it home. Though it was comforting to hear him say that at some point, the tire is going to explode. Great. In retrospect, I could have had them put the spare on, but the spare tire on my car has a lot of miles on it, so I thought that might have been iffy. So I trudged on home, literally counting off each mile, where I was in relation to the next Merchants (the tires are under warranty, so I'll save some cash anyway), and how close I was to home. Of course, this is the night that folks decide to get crazy with the cheese whiz on 795 and close it with a big wreck, sending everyone on to another road with 14134 traffic lights, and yeah, it took forever to get home.<br /><br />I skipped Merchants and just went home. I had some dinner, I'm watching hockey, I'm drinking beer, and I ain't going anywhere. I go to Merchants in the morning.<br /><br />If some other form of transportation doesn't rise up and kill my ass first.<br /><br />MDREd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-19415915361399583802007-11-05T19:52:00.000-08:002007-11-05T20:04:52.279-08:00Sorry for the Delay in Posting ...... I was stuck in a Metro train.<br /><br />OK, not literally. I haven't been on a Metro train for 4 days, although at times, it felt like that was going to be the case.<br /><br />Last week, I had to be on the Metro on Thursday evening and then for work on Friday. I don't really have any stories to tell about people during those times, everyone was pretty well behaved.<br /><br />But let me 'splain something here.<br /><br />Metro runs the subway. This is their job. They take the subway cars, they put them on the track, they make them go by whatever means they use to make them go, and they go from stop to stop and that's that.<br /><br />Yet, Metro can't do that. The system does not work. DOES. NOT. WORK.<br /><br />On three straight trips on the Metro during Thursday and Friday, I ended up in a Subway car that had to sit and wait because the one in front of it broke down. How is that possible? What are the chances? Think about it! Three in a row! I counted, it cost me 91 minutes of time. 91 fucking minutes, sitting on a Metro train, not moving anywhere, because the Metro trains do not work.<br /><br />Not to mention the fact, as a friend mentioned recently in a message board discussion about the topic - the system is screwed to start with because when something breaks, there's no where to go around it. And usually, another train has to be taken out of service, with more passengers displaced, so that that train can then push the other broken train out of the way into a track switch, etc. So you basically have two trains (12-16 cars), out of commission.<br /><br />And this happens every day. It happened to me three trips in a row!!! Seriously, if there is a Vegas oddsmaker reading this, I want the odds on that happening to anyone. They have to be astronomical.<br /><br />So here I am, back to my blog. Finally safe and sound at home. I may have to take the Metro tomorrow afternoon.<br /><br />Pray for me.<br /><br />Signed,<br />Marc D. RiderEd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-27914623405467941932007-10-31T19:10:00.000-07:002007-10-31T19:37:10.794-07:00And Now, a Look into the Future ...So, there wasn't much to write about today in my commute - nobody really went out of their way to appear in lights and become famous, so I want to take tonight's entry to address something else.<br /><br />That being the plans of MARC for expansion over the next several years. Contrasted to that of Metro.<br /><br />First, you can read the MARC plan for yourself right here:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mtamaryland.com/marcsummary2.pdf">http://www.mtamaryland.com/marcsummary2.pdf</a><br /><br />The key points are (related to the Penn Line, since that's the one I use) are that within 9 months, they plan to add another mid-day train, another evening train, and weekend service. They are also going to try and find ways to secure more seating since trains are "running at more than capacity in peak times."<br /><br />Ya think?<br /><br />Folks, if you've never ridden a MARC train in a peak time/route - meaning the ones early in the morning and the 5:20 train that are Express routes - well I can't say that you are missing out on all the fun (hell, you can read about it here). These trains aren't just overcrowded. They are crammed with every Tom, Dick, Harry, and Sabrina - standing in the aisles, standing in the stairwells, standing 2 deep behind seats in the common areas in the double-decker cars ... it's ridiculous really. And it's what causes all the material that you get to read here - because when you have that many people crammed into that kind of space, you're going to get comedy.<br /><br />Although, I should say that it's not all funny. There was one dude tonight who faked an attempt at kicking someone else who was standing in/near the stairwell. Yeah, that was smart.<br /><br />Anyway, the question of course is where the money for this is going to come from. MARC has to work out deals with Amtrak/CSX, etc., because of the track usage and all that. It's also been said in the past that MARC doesn't have the money to purchase new equipment, which would be necessary to add cars to certain trains or add routes - so they stated in their plan that they have to find a quick temporary plan to add infrastructure in terms of trains. There's no certainty over how they are going to do that.<br /><br />But what I like about the plan I linked to above is they give you a pretty detailed plan of what they are going to do, how they are going to do it, and their goals for when they are going to have it done. It's very ambitious. I'm sure they aren't going to get 100% of it done, but I have faith that we are going to see changes. And let me tell you, the weekend service would be straight cash, homey.<br /><br />Now, contrast that to the 10 Ewoks and wookiee that run Metro.<br /><br />As you may be aware if you live in the Washington/Baltimore Gigaplex, Metro is trying to shove fare increases down our throats. They say they need to maintain their level of service for their customers and more money will do that.<br /><br />Metro's level of service sucks! Outside of the occasional station manager who is helpful - and one was once when I fell ill at a station late one night - the system is a joke right now. Trains during peak times are embarrassingly overcrowded, to the point where people are hostile to each other over finding a simple spot to stand in. And forget guys offering their seats to ladies in a crowded car. I will, but for most, it's gone out the window. And guys ... 95% of the time, the woman isn't going to take the seat. But you're a good guy if you're offer - it's the right thing to do. Trust me on this one.<br /><br />Anyway ... one of the main sticking points of the fare increases (which in and of themselves aren't horrible) is a $1.15 jump in parking fees - COMBINED with a reduction of thousands of general parking places that are going to be made into reserve spots. So basically, Metro is going to charge you more for less of a chance to park. I guess from a supply and demand standpoint, maybe it makes sense, but it seems more like a slap in the face to me. Not to mention - there's no reason to believe that the fare increase is going to change anything. Nothing's changed before when fares went up.<br /><br />Case in point ... you may remember a few weeks ago when a series of "smoke" and "fire" incidents broke out on various lines of the Metro system. They never did figure it out. Their story was that a lightning strike hit a substation and that caused all the issues, blah blah blah. The media was all over it, the Metro Ewoks said they would fix it, and all was forgotten.<br /><br />Do yourself a favor. Go to Metro's web site: www.wmata.com ... and click on "Alerts and Advisories" on the left. Then in the middle, click "Metrorail Service Disruption Report" and click "Yesterday's Service" after that. You can see the disruption reports for whatever day you wish (it usually lags a few days behind, sometimes not). Anyway, go through them. You're going to find two things:<br /><br />1) As we've mentioned here before, Metro trains suffer an inordinate amount of "door" problems. Knock on wood, I've never experienced one of these door problems - but it's getting to epidemic proportions and given that it keeps happening day after day, multiple times every day, you have to wonder what Metro is doing about it.<br /><br />2) The smoke problems haven't gone away. Now, they aren't coming along fast and furious like they were for a couple nights there, where they were popping up simultaneously at different lines and stations, but they are still happening. And nobody is checking Metro on it. Not the news media, no one. They haven't fixed the problem. It's only a matter of time before it fires up again on a more serious level (pun intended).<br /><br />Look, I take Metro every day. I don't want it to be fucked up. And if I had any confidence that the whatevers that run it could fix the problems through an infusion of cash by me paying more to park and ride, I'd live with that. I'm not anti tax or anti fee totally, but if I'm going to be paying more, you better damn sure get the job done and your service better be top notch. There's nothing about Metro that inspires any confidence in me (and probably a lot of other people) that this is going to be the case.<br /><br />Many folks in Washington are scared that Metro is going to be the target in the next big terrorist attack in this country. I bet it isn't. I bet it's one of these little ongoing, daily issues that's going to crop up and really cause some sort of horrible situation.<br /><br />And unlike MARC, whose changes I think are worth believing in - I have no confidence that the Ewoks and Wookiee throwing any kind of additional money at things is going to make any difference.<br /><br />Ride wisely, folks.<br /><br />And keep your eyes open.Ed C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8200109559985405001.post-55089621547022044522007-10-30T17:13:00.000-07:002007-10-30T17:36:09.187-07:00Never Fear - Freaks are HereI knew it couldn't last. I knew one day of boredom and responsible travel on the MARC and the Metro wouldn't carry over into another.<br /><br />So no waiting, let's move forward (because the highlights are better) ...<br /><br />---<br /><br />Dear Comedy Troop on the MARC Train,<br /><br />Not everything I write and intend to be funny is actually funny. But my laughs per at-bat ratio is pretty high. I do the best I can with the material I get. I write what I see, and I don't tell many jokes.<br /><br />Because, as you proved this morning with your Evening at the Improv performance, sometimes jokes ain't funny, bro. But actually, I need to rewind a bit, because I also should point out that I didn't need to hear your complete dental history in a 2-stop stretch. I mean, I'm sorry for whatever teeth ailments have befallen you, but at 6:40 in the morning - I don't want to hear about periodontal scraping - and judging by the faces the other folks in our part of the train were making as you were talking about this - well, let's just say I'm the voice of the people, buddy. Did you know that Army Woman has Broken Tooth Syndrome? Yeah. Maybe you two can hook up. But remember, she has the bum ankle, so no real freaky stuff.<br /><br />But then there were jokes. Oh my goodness. First the one about the four husbands who wanted to play golf on Christmas morning. Look, somewhere, in a VFW in Harford County, that joke's probably funny. It really is pretty much the same joke that middle-aged golfers tell their middle-aged golfing buddies while they try and figure out why the vacuum cleaner they got their wives for their 17th anniversary didn't turn out to be such a great idea. And, I mean, let's be real, you could've stopped with that one. But then there was the one about the monsignor and the hole-in-one. The last time I heard silence like that after you delivered the punchline was when Don Zimmer decided to pitch to Will Clark with the bases loaded in the '89 NLCS - and all of Wrigley Field thought to themselves silently - "What the fuck?"<br /><br />You'll forgive me if I didn't go running to call an agent for you. You won't be getting a series any time soon. Stick with whatever you're good at in life. You don't bring the funny.<br /><br />Signed,<br />Marc D. Rider<br /><br />----------<br /><br />Dear Snot Guy on the Metro,<br /><br />You know, I waffled on whether to even bring this one up. Because you may be very sick, and I don't want to make fun of that - being sick myself sometimes. But listen ... I'monna dish you the 411 here quick. BLOW YOUR NOSE!!! It's OK. It's OK to blow your nose in public. It's gross sounding for a second, but everyone around you knows you're doing the right thing, and you get a pass.<br /><br />Here's what not to do. Don't stand in the middle of the train huffing snotmonsters to the back of your head like clockwork every time the train goes by one of those blue emergency phone lights every 800 feet or so. I seriously thought at one point your head was going to explode. Stay home from work! Watch TV! Read! Do something. Take a sick day, bro. But seriously, I'monna get your handkerchief for Christmas - please use it. It's OK to blow your nose in public if you have such an accessory. We'll understand.<br /><br />If your head explodes in such a confined space, however, well, that's not so easy to clean up.<br /><br />Signed,<br />Marc D. Rider<br /><br />--<br /><br />Dear Prep School Kids on the MARC Train,<br /><br />I really wanted to put a post up about y'all's performance on the afternoon train today. When you got on board, unable to find seats, and stood near where I was, all wearing khakis and blue sweaters, I thought I had died and my own personal hell was going to be being stuck in the making of New Kids on the Block reunion video. I mean, you really had it all, the clothes, the annoying voice that had to project not only across the entire train, but really all of Howard County - the "we can get away with anything" attitude, and calling your teacher a Metrosexual was quite a jab.<br /><br />But other than the one dude who kept trying to suck the remainder of his milk shake or whatever it was down his throat for about a minute - I gotta say, you didn't do too much to earn your way here. I don't know whether to be happy or sad that you didn't live up to expectations. I mean, it could have been worse. Much worse.<br /><br />So good luck on your flight from BWI to Preppyworld. Hopefully the folks on the flight end up being marginally OK with y'all being around (not that I'd sign up for it again, mind you).<br /><br />Signed,<br />Marc D. Rider<br /><br />---<br /><br />AND FINALLY!!! (busy day)<br /><br />Dear Dude Dressed up as The Joker on the Metro,<br /><br />Dude ... what?<br /><br />I know tomorrow is Halloween - but can I just tell you, you were going for the Joker look - yeah, you missed. Not like Tiger lipping out a 25-foot putt kind of missed ... I mean like Brant Brown dropping that fly ball vs. Milwaukee in the '98 divisional race to cost the Cubs a game kind of missed.<br /><br />You were downright scary. You should have dressed up as like the bad guy for "Saw 6" or something, and it would have been less scary. There are little kids throughout the Metro system who are going to have nightmares tonight, and I feel for them. Poor kids. I've never seen so many people approach a Metro car only to see someone on it and all turn away. Maybe you're a decent person, I don't know, you probably are. And who doesn't like to dress up for Halloween.<br /><br />But just give everybody a little bit of a warning next time, OK pal?<br /><br />Signed,<br />Marc D. RiderEd C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14692072154371200634noreply@blogger.com3