Various Issues

Things have actually been pretty tame on the rails for the last few days. Most of what has gotten on my nerves, I've written about before, but here were a few things that popped into my head tonight that I want to address really quick before I go to sleep (hell, I have to be at the train station in less than 7 hours).

1. I'monna Start a Brawl
* Seriously, like hel-lo. What the hell is up with some of you people? The new thing that's all the rage at both MARC and Metro stations is, if there's a big line of people waiting to get on a train - everyone trying to get on the same train, mind you, the dude at the back starts just pushing his way into everyone else. Not like an arms out, Randy Moss push, mind you, but more like a body lean that ends up right against you and while it doesn't hurt, it's annoying as shit. You would think people would have evolved enough to this point that they would realize that trying to board the train stampede style wouldn't work. But no, most people haven't evolved that much. So, now when people do that to me, they are going to find themselves going the other way, because I'm going to push in the opposite direction until you either do something about it, or you fall off the platform to your death or a serious maiming.

Pick one.

2. MARC Gets it Right
* Big news today out of the MARC home offices in Governor O'Malley's house, as the transportation line announced the addition of three new evening routes in February. One will be a 5:14 p.m. express from Washington north, which is money, as the current 5:20 express often is way, way overcrowded (as it was today, with people, including your hero, standing in the middle of the aisle on the upper level - and lemme just tell ya, when you get to be my size, and the car is going back and forth, to and fro, and the belly gets a little momentum going to one side or the other - yeah, folks are lucky there wasn't a catastrophe today). Anyway, they are also adding an additional line from Baltimore to the South (this is all on the Penn Line by the way), and the Drinking Man's Special - an 11:45 p.m. route leaving Union Station heading north. Can you say 6-hour Happy Hour? No more leaving the bar early just when it's getting good to make sure there is a train home. Come February, it's party time!

You may wonder why I wrote that the MARC home office is in Governor O'Malley's house. I guess, in a sense, MARC is the Governor's own private train set, sans the little ice skating display in the middle and that old Lionel look-out house with the little plastic guy that came out of the door with the lantern every time the Santa Fe engine goes by (digressing? Possibly) ... but anyway, the messages from MARC today read like this ...

Governor Martin O 19Malley today announced he is adding service to the Penn Line. Three new trains will be added to boost capacity during the afternoon rush hour and provide late evening service for the first time. The new service is the first step toward implementing the Governor 19s comprehensive MARC Growth and Investment Plan released earlier this fall.

I don't know the significance of the 19 in the lad's name, and I'll go on record as saying I can't stand the dude. But I guess it's nice that he taxed everyone in the State to oblivion, because now I'll have an easier ride home. I hear this is how government is supposed to work. I wish there were other things he could decree from his house .... like all Metro trains have 16 cars and no one else on them but people I like .... like only meat loaf shall be served at official State functions ... and not only will slot machines be in the state, but I get to have one in my apartment.

None of that other stuff is probably going to happen, and I won't have any money left thanks to the Breathing Tax bill that he signed today - but hey, at least I have more options to get home, and I can even do it drunk if I want.

And just to toot our own train whistle here - did I not tell you that MARC had a plan and were likely to accomplish it? They are getting it done. Meanwhile, Metro trains continue to fall apart like a Rich Kotite-coached football team, with them begging for fare increases to "maintain the current level of service." Which means that you'll pay more to be stuck inside tunnels while the train in front of you can't move because it blowed up. Or there's smoke on the tracks. Or there's a door problem. Or there was a mechanical problem. Or, as it was on Tuesday, someone "made contact" with the train. Hell, did the person at least have good defensive position? Did he draw the charge? Was he wearing a Duke jersey such that he automatically gets the call in that situation? These are the things I wonder about at 12:07 a.m.

3. A MARC Rider Confused Me
* This happened on Monday, and I think it was in the morning, though I'm still trying to get over the idea that we all ride Governor O'Malley's Lionel train set, so maybe my head is foggy. Anywho, I was sitting in an aisle seat trying to find room with a right tackle and left guard sitting in the two seats to the right of me. A dude walked up the aisle toward the exit (I guess it was his stop, but who gets off at Seabrook?), and he was carrying one of those big-ass bags that we have discussed here before. Now - first of all, men should be carrying big-ass bags. We don't need to carry all that much shit to work. But anyway, the moral of the story is, big-ass bag clocked me in the leg as he walked by. Before I could even think to myself, BLOG TARGET!, he topped that off with something very unusual.

He turned around and apologized.

I waved it off as no big deal and all was good. But I don't know where they got the idea to let these reasonable people on the trains now. If this continues, I'm going to have to start blogging about soccer trades or something.

Stay safe, rail warriors.

Signed,
MDR