I had to run to catch the MARC today, and if you know me and have ever seen me run, you know that wasn’t a pretty sight – but anyway, that meant that there wasn’t exactly the pick of the litter of seats left on the train. But I found a seat on the aisle open, and the dude on the inside seat was working on his laptop. Fine, he’s busy, all I want to do is sleep, it’s all good.
Yeah, no.
I think dude was a terrorist. Not in any way to be stereotypical, and I couldn’t even tell you if his descent anyway – but you know how when they show stories on the news about such and such being blowed up somewhere and then they say, “Government officials believe this man may have been responsible, or an operative,” and they show a guy’s picture from the neck up?
It was this guy!!!
He had a hat, dark glasses, and for all I know, he could have been using the computer to blow up an embassy in Karjackhistan. But that really wasn’t the unsettling part. Well, the sunglasses were. What need you have for sunglasses at 6:30 in the morning on the train when it’s still dark out – because, presumably, that means you had them on when you boarded the train somewhere north of Baltimore, at like 6 in the morning, when, yes, it still would have been dark out – is unknown. Maybe he was using his computer to try and score a night on the town later that will end with him carrying a 12-pack of wine coolers and talking to the guy from “Dateline” on NBC.
No, what really was unnerving about this dude was his gum. Look, I ain’t the brightest person in the world, and I’m sure I have some bad habits. But chewing with my mouth open isn’t one of them. I learned at any early age how to chew gum, dammit. If you can work out the thought processes in your head that are going to signal your brain to say that it’s OK to wear sunglasses at 6 in the morning, then you should have some way of being aware how to chew gum with your mouth closed. Seriously, his chewing was so loud, it trumped the woman sitting behind me talking on her cell phone with a friend about who another friend of theirs slept with last night. Ain’t that some shit?
I didn’t hear his gum chewing as much, though, when, possessing the outside seat, I waited for everyone else to leave the train at Union Station before I went to leave. I don’t think he liked that much.
Course, if he took his computer back out (I wasn’t watching), he also might have blowed up my apartment.
Shit.
MDR
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1 comment:
"Not in any way to be stereotypical, and I couldn’t even tell you if his descent anyway –"
You are kind of junmping to a conclusion there:
You see, it may not have been a descent, but actually been an ASCENT, up to Bonobos from Lemurs, on the way to Neanderthals . Just 'cause he had a laptop didn't mean he was evolved, y'know?
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