On Tuesday, Voices Carry

A few things to get to so let's go, because it's late and I want to go to sleep ...

1. Kids - They're Stupid
OK ... maybe not all kids. But all the kids on the Metro train I was on this afternoon were stupid, so that's a case study of 6 kids, and 6 out of 6 were stupid. That's even a better percentage than the 4 out of 5 dentists that prefer Trident to your leading gum. I was on the Metro a bit earlier today than usual, and had the good fortune of running into a friend of mine I hadn't seen in several months, so we were trying to talk on the Metro when 6 kids, ages 10-15 boarded. Apparently they were either stupid, poorly educated, or straight up deaf. They proceeded to yell at each other at the back of the train, and every 4th word was a cuss word. Although, as my friend and I figured, that was probably because the cuss words were easier to pronounce. Hell, most of them are four letters, even a bit of education can teach you how to knock those out. About 7 stops later, they left the train, and all was quiet again. Until the next stop, when the loud-mouthed little runts got back on. Well, 5 of them did. I guess they had just hopped cars. But this was enough to thoroughly confuse one of the 6, who proceeded to get on the train as the other 5 had decided they were going to exit again, and we took off with him on it and the other 5 screaming on the platform like they had just seen a zombie carrying tonight's homework assignment.

I'm so never having kids.

2. Faces of Death - MetroBus Driver Style
Do the people who drive Metro buses know how to drive at all? The more I hear about the incidents they are involved in, the more I wonder if they are like that guy that used to be on the opening montage of ABC's Wide World of Sports, who careens down the ski jump and falls ass over tea kettle for several hundred feet. I remember a comic once doing a bit basically asking if that guy could ski at all. I wonder the same about Metrobus drivers. Once a month, we are hearing about accidents they are involved in, and the latest one killed a pedestrian, which sadly isn't a first, either, or a second, or a third, unfortunately. Now, there may be reasons why the driver may not be at fault. I understand that. But on the days when I drive in and I see these Metro buses rolling through red lights, cutting in front of compact cars, and changing lanes for no apparent reason, it's hard to believe the drivers aren't a little bit off their rocker. I once saw a writer try and convince commuting readers that "getting to work and home again is traveling, not Bloodsport." ... Where Metro is involved, I'm no longer so sure that this axiom is true.

3. Metro's New Rail Cars
Hopefully, the same people don't drive the Metro trains, but I think they drive themselves to some extent, so maybe we're all at least a little safer in that mode of public transportation. But anyway, Metro announced today that they have rolled out two new styles of rail cars that will enter a 6-month customer testing period, first on the Green Line, but eventually throughout the system. The cars don't have carpet (vinyl flooring instead), some have bench seating and they have retractable hand rail pull things in the ceiling that you can pull down to your height, and then they go back in place when the person is done. Of course, if the person is really short and needs to pull the thing that far down in the first place, I do wonder how they are actually going to reach it to do that, but anyhow. Of note, in the story I read on this, it said that Metro expects these cars to hold 20 additional passengers than the current setup, lifting the capacity of a car to 200 people. That means that the current cars are supposed to have a capacity of 180. Have you ever been on a Metro train? Look around you next time and figure out exactly how 180 people are going to fit on each car. These new cars better have seats in the ceiling if they are going to hold 200 people.

4. Big Ass Bags from Hell
Look people. I really don't know what you people are bringing back and forth to work every day. And I'm not sure I want to know. But whatever could you possibly need during the day that requires it to be carried on the MARC train in a bag big enough to fit Fat Albert? More and more, I am seeing people trying to walk down the aisles in the train with these big ass bags in toe, bashing them off people who are minding their own business sitting in their seats. I saw one woman get straight up clocked in the face by one of these big ass bags today and the woman carrying the bag just walked on like nothing happened. The bags ought to have to pay for a ticket! Then these same people try and take the bag and stuff it in the little overhead storage compartment and get puzzled looks on their faces when they don't fit, and even if they do, that means that no one else in that row can put anything in that spot (which is half theirs) because the big ass bag woman has to carry her entire life's possessions for a normal workday. I think some of these people are carrying their fucking cars to work. You could fit a small Kia in some of these bags that I've seen. Seriously - bring your lunch, your makeup, maybe an umbrella, and a bottle of water. At most, maybe you have a couple documents from work that you had to review the night before because you are a workaholic with nothing else to do. But you don't need to bring your whole life with you on the train! Because next time you come strolling up the aisle with your big ass bag rolling behind you and I'm sitting in my seat, minding me business, and big ass bag clocks me in the foot like I'm a speed bump or something, big ass bag is getting chucked out the side of the car and if you are still attached ... oops.

But hey - at least when you land and finish your barrel roll from 100 mph down to 0, you'll have all your stuff.

Be careful out there rail warriors.

Signed,
MDR

PS: These freecreditreport.com commercials with the guy singing needs to die a quick death.