I mean, seriously, this is crazy

Anyone who is signed up to the special service that previews what I'm going to write about late at night knows today's offerings don't feature much originality.

Without further of the adieu, let's geaux.

1. Ignorant-ass mother fucking people
* Look, nevermind the people that get into one car on the MARC train via the stairs, then walk into the other, cutting off the people getting up those stairs. It's an asshole move, but everyone does it so whatever. ... But when you get into a train, and you see seats are open not near anyone else - take one, sit down, shut up. OK, that's a little cruel, but here's what you don't do, you don't crawl over 2 other people to get to a crowded seat, along the way getting close enough to one of those people that you might be legally married in Arkansas. I'm not interested in being that close to you, and the next time you do it, I'm gonna bust a knee cap in your jigglies. That'll cool your jets. Not to mention the fact that when you do sit down, the dude next to you has no room, because you insist on carrying your bag in your lap, which means your arms have to be at your sides, which means you elbows are going into the other dude's ribs while he's trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. There's nothing in your bag that important, save for maybe your Dungeons & Dragons charts and the lunch Mom packed. Your desire to be that close to people that early in the morning is annoying, and frankly, frightening.

2. Ignorant-ass mother fucking people
* But all that said, dude looked like a saint once we got to Odenton and a whole new crop of valedictorians got on the train. For this portion of the entry, I give you the long-awaited return of Army Woman! All dressed in the normal uniform, she was back in normal form today, her ankle looking none the worse for wear. She was off on another run, talking about her kids and God knows what else, and the person she was talking to wasn't even in her row! And of course, she was at the top of the stairs, so, in theory, the whole train could have heard her talking about her daughter getting new pants at TJ Maxx ... except:

3. Ignorant-ass mother fucking people
* She was completely muted just about by a trio of gossip machines that stood in the middle of the aisle next to where me, sleeping dude, unknown woman and space invader were sitting. These three were talking about everything and anything with little regard for humanity. The ring leader of the deal started by talking about some guy who wouldn't give her the time of day or something, wrapping it up with the rhyme, "I don't care if I don't catch his eye, I'm still pretty fly." Not to dispute the point too much, but let's put it this way ... if her backside was any wider, it would have been dark blue with COWBOYS written across it in silver and Terrell Owens would have been dancing into it. She was anything but fly. But she had more material on this day .... between Bowie State and New Carrollton, she informed us about this couple she saw at Wal-Mart - who she apparently didn't know from Adam, Eve, Tootie, Jo, or Natalie. Anyway, apparently the couple were having a discussion about one buying something for the other or what have you, really not something where outside opinions are necessary - so of course the crux of the story was about Fly Cowboys Butt Girl giving them her opinion and dressing down the guy for whatever reason. She then went on to share with all the train residents about how bad the guy's teeth were, like some of them were sideways and some of them were gone and they all kind of pointed the wrong direction.

So yeah, this is what I want to hear at 7 in the morning.

But it got better! Remember the point earlier about there being plenty of good seats available? Well, this was still the case at this point, and when Conductor Spivey (that's his name, that's not a joke) came along to collect/inspect tickets, he made mention to the Gossip Girls that they could go sit down - and they all said no! "We wanna stand here." ... "and annoy the shit out of all these other people, even space invader guy." OK, I added the last part, but you get my drift. Worse yet, they were right in front of the stairwell, and wouldn't move out of the way for Conductor Spivey to get through. He's trying to navigate the gossip gauntlet and I said, "These people don't make life easy for you, do they?" ... "No, they surely don't," he responded with a shake of the head.

An individual person can be brilliant. smart, whatever. People are intellectually deficient morons. It's one thing if you want to annoy me while I'm trying to get to work in the morning - but when you are going out of your way to fuck with the people whose whole job is to walk through the train collecting tickets hour after hour, day after day, then you might as well turn in your humanity card to the front office in Accident, Maryland, and leave the Earth for good. It's just stupid. Why make that dude's life harder because your fly fat ass is too lazy to find a seat?

Sorry.

This post wasn't very funny.

But people really showed in a lot of ways just how classless and stupid they can be today - and they deserve to be called out for it.

I may not like a lot of my life, and I ain't perfect (far from it) ... but I'm glad I'm me and not them.

Happy New Year!!!

MDR

PS: I hope you enjoy the last.fm widget that I've added. I'll be changing the key band from time to time (as it is, the first song will always be a Gin Blossoms song), but we'll keep it around if people dig it. I think it's a nice addition and it was easy, so that's key.