Grapefruit?

Dear Dude with the Grapefruit on the MARC Train,

OK like, seriously, first of all - the only person I've ever seen eat grapefruit consistently and on purpose was my grandmother. My grandmother is 84, can barely walk and has watched the same soap opera for 37 years. Do you want to end up like that? And yo, let's rap a minute dude. Grapefruit, on the mother ********ing train? Are you kidding? But hey, everyone has to get their protein, or vitamins, or iron, or whatever the ******** you get out of a grapefruit. But straight up, do you need to suck down the grapefruity goodness with every bite? I'd seriously rather listen to the Samoans chew a $2 steak then whatever the hell vile things you were doing to that grapefruit.

So, no, it should come as no surprise that I got up and moved to another car. You, sir, are a sick individual, and someone that I don't think any of our kids should be exposed to. Seriously, what's next? A mango? A tangerine? A pear?

Signed,
Marc D. Rider