Dear Ms. Thang on the Metro,
Hey, it's great that it appears you keep yourself in pretty good shape for a 40-something. Given that, it defies explanation how you could sit in the middle of a pair of seats and be oblivious to the world around you on a crowded Metro car, when another younger woman using crutches is pretty much all but begging for a seat somewhere. But that's OK, because you must be special. So much so that you have a Secret Service escort that was well-hidden on the train, because it was clear, you are the shit!
You'll pardon me for snickering just the wee littlest of bits when you exited the train, tripped over someone's luggage and fell on your face. Hell, even the young lady on crutches could get around better than you.
Signed,
Marc D. Rider
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