There's Polar Bears in the Mother F#%@% Metro!!!

Dear Washington Area Metro Transit Authority,

This morning was like any other morning. I was in the Union Station stop about 7:10, waiting to get into one of those moving tube things you have that goes underground and carries me to work.

Anyway, here's a thought. The next time you want to play loud big band music in one of your stations, and clear a path so four people dressed as polar bears dragging a wheelbarrow can get off an elevator and out to the street, DON'T DO IT IN MORNING RUSH HOUR!!

I mean, hey, I love polar bears. They're cool looking and they are massive creatures that deserve our respect. But they don't belong in a Metro station at 7:10 in the morning when people are about to be dragged to work against their will by your moving tube things.

And did you really need 8 security people for the 4 people dressed up as polar bears? Seriously - two people per fake bear? Hell, the Bears haven't had that kind of blocking since Gale Sayers retired.

What will be there this afternoon? Sixteen fake chimpanzees dancing to the theme from "Fame?"

Signed,
Marc D. Rider