This Dude Done Lost the Plot

Dear Nut Job Mother ********er on the Metro,

Look, we all have problems in life. Lord knows I have my share right now. And sometimes, they are infuriating to no end. But no matter what dude, let me just hang this little piece of 411 on you ... violence isn't the answer!

So you'll understand the rest of the Metro car's concern/amusement/mixed with a little bewilderment when you stood up Friday afternoon and proclaimed that there was a woman getting paid to torment you. Dude, I didn't know you were Marv Albert. But seriously, some of us find a woman to torment us for free, usually unintentionally. But I dare say you perhaps carried it just a bit too far when you then proclaimed in a raised voice that you "should shoot every mother ********er in here," followed by a long pause, then adding, "that works for the FBI."

Now, I don't work for the FBI, so I wasn't particularly concerned that you were going to bust a cap in my ass. Hey, I watched X-Files, too, and I always thought Scully had a hotness about her. But maybe you feel differently. Hey, variety is the spice of life. But you'll forgive me and the other 12 people in the car that all skipped forward a car or two at the next stop. That way you could have your own little private tantrum and nobody would get hurt. I hope.

And maybe you should try a shot of the decaf.

Sorry. Shot. Maybe I should have used a different word. Little joke - don't kill me.

Signed,
Marc D. Rider